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Don't Panic

Monday March 22, 2010 02:30 pm EDT

image-1President Barack Obama just can't conceal his deep hatred of Israel.

I mean, when he went on Fox News on St. Patrick's Day and was offered a chance to say nice things about Israel, all he could offer up was: "Israel is one of our closest allies and we and the Israeli people have a special bond that's not going to go away."

Seriously?

Israel is just one of our closest...

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Don't Panic

Monday March 22, 2010 04:00 am EDT
A real friend of Israel, like George W. Bush, would repeatedly compare the Iranian President to Hitler | more...

Don't Panic

Monday March 15, 2010 02:00 pm EDT

image-1Fouling rivers, plants and soil in a manner you know will cause death or injury to large numbers of innocent people is an environmental crime.

I first heard the term "environmental crime" during a public gathering of hacky-sacking peace activists gathered in a remote North Carolina forest in 2003. After sharing a joint and engaging in a lively "Widespread vs. Phish" debate, the...

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Don't Panic

Monday March 15, 2010 04:00 am EDT
Evidence suggests a link between heavy U.S. munitions and a steep rise in birth defects | more...

Don't Panic

Monday March 8, 2010 03:00 pm EST

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On March 4, the House Committee on Foreign Affairs passed the following nonbinding resolution:

"Calling upon the President to ensure that the foreign policy of the United States reflects appropriate understanding and sensitivity concerning issues related to human rights, ethnic cleansing, and genocide documented in the United States record relating to the Armenian Genocide,...

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Don't Panic

Monday March 8, 2010 04:00 am EST
Like many victims of long-ago crimes, if the Armenians can't have justice, they at least want recognition | more...

Don't Panic

Monday March 1, 2010 03:00 pm EST

image-1Let's play trivia!

There's no cheating, so turn off your smart phones and shut down your computer or else you're disqualified (unless you're reading this on a computer or a smart phone, in which case, never mind).

OK, ready?

Q: Which NATO giant has a powerful and vocal ultra-nationalist minority that refuses to accept the result of the country's fair, democratic elections,...

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Don't Panic

Monday March 1, 2010 04:00 am EST
Americans may kvetch about our red vs. blue bipolar politics, - but we've got nothing on Turkey | more...

Don't Panic

Monday February 22, 2010 05:10 pm EST

image-1Every few months, the War On Terror™ needs a turning point.

If not an actual turning point, then at least a mythical turning point – an exciting event that allows journalists and pundits discussing the war to say things like "this is a turning point" or "we may be at a turning point" or the ultra weasel-y and kinda passive-aggressive "Are we at a turning point?"

Past...

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Don't Panic

Monday February 22, 2010 04:00 am EST
Beating Taliban forces on the battlefield again and again is not a turning point | more...

Don't Panic

Monday February 15, 2010 08:51 pm EST

image-1The West's nuclear standoff with Iran has been going on forever. OK, maybe not quite forever, but it sure feels like forever. It was 2002 when the world figured out Iran was building a secret uranium-enrichment facility. Just think about how different the world was in 2002.

Back then, Barack Obama was still an Illinois state senator. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was an engineering teacher. A...

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Don't Panic

Monday February 15, 2010 04:00 am EST
Will more economic sanctions keep Tehran off the nukes? | more...

Don't Panic

Monday February 8, 2010 05:40 pm EST

image-1President Obama's State of the Union address was a disappointment.

Don't get me wrong, it was a perfectly acceptable speech, but the event itself lacked the visceral drama I've come to expect from political gatherings with so many Republicans in the audience.

When they get together, GOP-types love to call Obama a Socialist, a Communist, a fascist, Hitler, Stalin, Mao,...

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Don't Panic

Monday February 8, 2010 04:00 am EST
Unlike many of Obama's other big first-year promises like health care or closing Gitmo, this one is actually on schedule | more...

Don't Panic

Monday February 1, 2010 05:50 pm EST

image-1After nearly a decade of study, more than 400 columns written, and half a bottle of rum this morning, I have uncovered what I believe may be the three immutable presidential laws of the War On Terror™.

Law No. 1: Lofty foreign objectives are important, except when they aren't.

When the U.S. invaded Iraq, President Bush's stated goals were to remove a nuclear, chemical,...

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Don't Panic

Monday February 1, 2010 04:00 am EST
Or will the U.S. pound the crap out of the Taliban until they sign a peace deal | more...

Don't Panic

Monday January 25, 2010 02:00 pm EST

image-1When difficult questions arise, I often turn to the cast of the Lethal Weapon movies for quick answers.

Q: Should I go inside to order food, or pull up to the drive-thru window?

A: "Don't ever go up to the drive-thru, OK? Always walk up to the counter," says Joe Pesci's character Leo Getz in Lethal Weapon 2. "They fuck you at the drive-thru."

Q: Who's responsible for all...

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Don't Panic

Monday January 25, 2010 04:00 am EST
People don't die because earthquakes shake them. They die because poorly-made buildings fall on top of them. | more...

Don't Panic

Monday January 18, 2010 02:00 pm EST

image-1The U.S.’ reaction to last week’s devastating earthquake in Haiti has, in many ways, been gratifying. Whadya know — we actually care a little.

Sure, there will always be Rush Limbaughs and Pat Robertsons sticking their dicks in the metaphorical mashed potatoes with predictably hate-filled racist outbursts. But so far, anyway, the reactions of the public, commercial...

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Don't Panic

Monday January 18, 2010 04:00 am EST
We can expect the U.S. military to be quite good as sort of a 911 service, but not much beyond that | more...

Don't Panic

Monday January 11, 2010 04:14 pm EST

image-1How are your New Year's resolutions working for you?

Mine are going well. I find that the key to success is setting realistic goals. More than a week into 2010, I'm still keeping my New Year's vow to gain weight, spend less time with my friends, watch more TV, and update my Twitter feed more while I'm driving.

Government policy initiatives aren't quite the same as New Year's...

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Don't Panic

Monday January 11, 2010 04:00 am EST
Obama's objectives include getting out of Iraq as quickly as possible while delving deeper into anywhere else that al-Qaida operatives are cramming explosives under their nutsacks | more...

Don't Panic

Monday January 4, 2010 02:00 pm EST

image-1For many Americans, welcoming a new year means champagne, dancing, discharging firearms skyward, college football, collards, black-eyed peas, Black Eyed Peas, Dick Clark and/or Ryan Seacrest, electrified mechanical apples, a midnight kiss, feeling sad about not getting a midnight kiss, vomiting, and headaches.

As if that wasn't enough fun for one holiday, Americans are getting an...

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Don't Panic

Monday January 4, 2010 04:00 am EST
Yemen could be set to join Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan and Somalia on the list of countries Americans plan to bomb until its residents like us | more...

Don't Panic

Monday December 28, 2009 06:51 pm EST

image-1There's plenty to dislike about living in London.

It's wet. It's cold. It's expensive. In December, the sun goes down before 4 p.m. And for reasons I'll never understand, London radio stations regularly play the music of Robbie Williams.

Living in London has some upsides, though.

You could go to the British Museum every weekend for the rest of your life and never see...

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