Top five songs to clear out the bar

Music is a powerful thing. It keeps you at the bar, dancing, drinking and smoking. Then again, the right song played at 2:57 a.m. can instantly cause any drunk to run for the door. Scott Morris, aka DJ Dookie Platters, harnesses that power when he turns out the music and then the crowd every Monday night at the Local.

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1) Andre 3000, “Hey Ya!”/Gnarls Barkley, “Crazy”: “When your favorite artists make genre-deconstructing dance floor smashes spun every hour for a year, it’s not a good thing.”

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2) Sonic Youth, “The Diamond Sea”: “My friend Geoff loves playing this in the bar purely because its atonal feedback solos act like general population repellent.”

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3) Slint, “Good Morning Captain”: “Thirty minutes after last call, when the bartender is trying to have a drink and zone the fuck out, he puts this on, and you know its time to go.”

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4) Britney Spears feat. Ying Yang Twins, “(I Got That) Boom Boom”: “This little collabo anti-nugget from 2003 was, exactly as you’re thinking, one of the worst ideas in the history of recorded sound. I’m embarrassed I even know it exists.”

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5) Tori Amos covering Eminem’s “‘97 Bonnie and Clyde”: “Tori’s creepy whispering, will leave you hiding under the covers trembling, wondering when the effects will wear off.”