Just to get a rep

To stand out in a big city, you have to make a name for yourself. There are plenty of creative ways to make that happen, but what you really need is a reputation — a bad one. Tom Cheshire, writer and lead singer of the All Night Drug Prowling Wolves, needs no introduction; he has made his mark. Here, he gives his own tips on how to be somebody.

1) Drink heavily: “Start with a few Guinnesses, then some cider, add gin and tonic and some jizzle bizzle, and the peeps will start talkin’. We’ll talk about it later.”

2) Start fights: “Swing first, ask questions later. Start as many rumors as possible and always say you heard it from your neighbor on the left.”

3) Get a good style: “Wrist bands, sweat pants, and learn how to dance. Style is important. High waters and high tops, and never trust a man in sandals.”

4) Walk out on tabs: “Have as many open bar tabs around town. Walk into a pub and order a pint and then move on to the next spot. I heard people talking about me the other day at the bank.”

5) Date a good-looking piece: “Very important. If you have a good-looking person on your arm, the kids will be biting your rhythm. Remember the movie Can’t Buy Me Love.”