Shwayze

There are plenty of bogus lines on Los Angeles artist Shwayze’s debut album, but many simply don’t make sense. “Light ‘er up” – he says on the album’s first song, “Roamin’” – “like it’s 1985 and we high as fuck.” Considering the overconfident, oversexed crooner/MC was born in 1986, it’s a little strange to imagine him being stoned while still in his mother’s womb. But it turns out we should be grateful for the lyric, as it’s one of the rare moments he takes a break from chauvinistic lines like, “Girls in New York look like giraffes/Long legs long necks, tiny tits and ass.” Producer Cisco Adler (who stars with Shwayze on the MTV show “Buzzin’”) throws some decent, counterintuitive rock instrumentation into the mix, but it can’t save the album from such lyrical clunkers as, “I talked to the cabby/’cause he drives me home if I call him daddy.” Smells like a flash-in-the-pan of Vanilla Ice proportions. 1 star.