Creative Loafing sucks, and here's why

This guy loves Bush — and loves loathing us even more

Charles Jackson

really, really hates Creative Loafing.

A year ago, he wrote to CL columnist John Sugg: "You must have a real problem, [perhaps] a very small penis inside a pair of ladies panties. Mr. Sugg, you are beneath my contempt. Bite me, you piece of pond scum."

In response to a 2003 Weekly Scalawag about Zell Miller, Jackson wrote in a letter to the editor: "So you're hysterical (I'm sure your diverse, multicultural mascara is running) about Bill Pryor (and Miller's support of him) being 'an unabashed promoter of radical (horror of horrors) Christianity, who advocates (oh, my God) organized school prayer and (worst of all) the public display of (oh, no) the Ten Commandments.' I can think of a lot of problems facing this country. But frankly, no school prayer and no display of the Ten Commandments aren't among them."

Just last month, he wrote, "You are an idiot," to reporter Michael Wall for writing an article criticizing the Kerry campaign for giving up on Georgia.

Now, in this post-Nov. 2 political climate, we asked Jackson to explain to CL readers exactly why the "unhinged, left-wing, extremist creeps" at this paper are a bunch of losers.

Read on. He might have a point.

"Want to know

why Bush got 52 percent of the vote? Why he got 7 million MORE votes than in 2000? Why he got 3.5 million MORE votes than that homoerotic John-John ticket? Why 81 percent of all the counties in the country are Red? Go no further: Read Creative Loafing and rejoice, all you Red State souls — it provides us with "Red Meat."

"[CL columnist] Doug Monroe has a lot in common with the AJC's Jim Wooten: both are predicable, boring ideologues. Your virulent hatred of Bush only intensified the loathing us Red State folks have for publications like CL (and the New York Times, etc.).

"Your endorsement of Denise Majette for Senate was a joke — I can't imagine a more out of touch liberal, other than Michael Moore and something called a Whoopi Goldberg.

"I wonder why you portray those opposed to gay marriage as haters? Why you label Gov. Perdue as a 'segregationist'? Why the poor are virtuous and the rich evil? Why you see everyone with AIDS as a martyr? Why you paint blacks as victims and whites as oppressors?

"Your columnists are laughable: an aging hippie as editor; a dog-down ugly female who can't spell 'Larry' and whose writing talents don't go much beyond the constant and monotonous use of the word 'fuck'; and a so-called therapist who longs for the good old days of sucking dick in the bushes at Piedmont Park.

"Hell, [CL former columnist] Tom Houck was a Ralph McGill compared to this lot of loonies. Your X-rated ads markedly demonstrate your desperate need, from whatever source, for revenue.

"I must admit, there is one bright spot in your otherwise deadly, vile, MoveOn.dodo-type rag: The Blotter is superb."