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Weekly Scalawag

Jennifer Wilbanks

Dear Jennifer,?
We wanted to write you a note conveying our deepest regrets; we will be unable to attend your wedding to John. Still, we couldn't pass up this chance to send you some encouraging words and boost your spirits during these trying times.?


eople are so mean, aren't they? That's a tough lesson to learn at any age, but especially tough for someone as sweet and selfless as you. We'll always remember when you were a baby, your eyes bigger and brighter than hubcaps. And then the glow about you when you met John, and the way you'd lovingly muss up his wonderful head of hair.?(br>

So why do the media keep focusing on all the bad things? Sure, you ditched John days before your wedding and hopped a Greyhound bus out West without telling anyone. And yes, you met some nice Mexicans on the bus (you always were great with ethnics - remember the gardener?) and then decided to tell police they'd kidnapped you, when in fact you just got cold feet. ?


nyway, we're very glad that in the midst of all this meanness, there's someone out there who's very nice. Yes, we're talking about Judith Regan, the agent in New York who we heard offered you $500,000 for the rights to your life story. She's just an island of ... niceness. And what she said was so moving. She called this whole affair "an unexpected and compelling story of love and forgiveness that has certainly taught me a thing or two.?


ou know what, Jen? She's right! You've taught us how to forgive. So let us be among the first to say it: We forgive you. We applaud you for not doing what anyone else would do in your situation, which would be to hide under a rock or move to the Azores. You have nothing to be ashamed of. This is America, after all. Take your money and enjoy it. You make us so proud.



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