The Blotter: Belly up

A woman said someone broke into her home on the Westside — but didn’t steal anything. “I noted the damage looked like someone had taken a sharp-pointed object and jammed it into the door, just above the lock,” an officer noted. A neighbor said she witnessed the suspect breaking into the door. According to the female neighbor, the suspect is a [man] in his 40s and with a big belly. “She said his neck and arms were skinny but he had a big belly,” the cop noted. “She said he was wearing a red shirt and long black cargo pant shorts.”

Tummy scum

In Midtown, a man said he parked his SUV outside his apartment and then someone broke into it and took his computer bag and some files. The suspect is described as 6 feet tall, wearing a white T-shirt and black shorts. “He also had a big belly,” the cop noted. The man said his stolen files did not contain any sensitive information.

Gut instinct

In South Atlanta, twice in the span of 10 days, Atlanta police reported a controlled purchase of crack cocaine from the same drug dealer. Each time, cops said they drove up to the window of a home and bought $20 worth of crack from the same guy: a tall, shirtless man with “extremely long fingernails” — and a very large belly.

Style maven

A 31-year-old man was walking across a Buckhead parking lot when he said a strange man bumped into him and took his shopping bag filled with $1,000 cash and a brand-new Zara T-shirt (worth $48). The victim said the thief was someone who is associated with a group of people who have robbed him before, but he didn’t know the thief’s name. Evidently the thief had a sense of style: He was described as having short black hair, wearing a “black mesh tank top, black paints, turtle sunglasses and a tail hanging around his neck.”

Dog days

A 40-year-old man drove his car to an auto shop on Martin Luther King Jr. Drive. The man parked his car and went inside. As he waited inside, the man saw a suspect with dreadlocks and a tie-dye T-shirt hop into his car and drive away. The 40-year-old man panicked — his dog was inside the car. The man watched as his car sped away in the direction of a nearby apartment complex. The man and a few others followed the car and found it parked outside a nearby complex.

The man said his car was not damaged, but the following items were stolen: his army-green bag, keys, wallet, tablet, and cell phone. A cop noted, “The victim’s dog, a Yorkie, was found alive and well in the vehicle.” The cop dusted the car for fingerprints and lifted a partial print from the driver-side air vent.

Relaxing find

In the Fairlie-Poplar district, a 53-year-old man said he went to use the restroom and a valet left his car running with the keys inside. The man’s white car was stolen. The valet said he thought the car’s owner got in and drove away — not a thief. Police scoured the area for the man’s car and found it abandoned a few blocks away. The car had a blown tire and the emergency brake was still on. The 53-year-old man looked inside the car and realized his cell phone had been stolen, along with his bag of medications, including a bottle of Oxycontin, hydrocodone, Xanax, and muscle relaxers.

People steal weird shit

In Northwest Atlanta, a woman said her home was ransacked while she was gone. She reported the following items stolen: her king-size bed, her queen-size bed, two flat-screen TVs, her copper pots and silverware, and her beloved white figurines. Also, the thieves opened the woman’s freezer and stole $100 worth of chicken.

Head games

A 30-year-old man bleeding from the head called police after he was thrown out of a Midtown nightclub. The man said he had no idea why he was ejected from the club. He said a security guard escorted him to the door, and then the man claimed the security guard pushed him, causing him to fall backward and hit his head on the concrete floor. The 30-year-old was “unable to completely identify the male but stated the male was light complexion, with a bald head and a beard,” a cop noted. “There are several security guards at the club who fit the description.” No arrests.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.