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The Blotter: Dramatic entrance

In Buckhead, cops responded to a call about a woman's legs possibly trapped under a black Lexus SUV near the Piedmont Avenue/Roswell Road intersection. A bystander said the woman drove the Lexus into a parking space, and hopped out, clutching a glass in one hand. The woman promptly fell over, shattering the glass. Bystanders said the woman was "laughing and crying" while lying on the ground. Clearly, her legs were not trapped, but she seemed too drunk to walk on her own. "I could plainly see a [full] 16-ounce Stella Artois beer can in her purse ..." the cop noted. "I asked the woman if she had been drinking anything today, specifically Stella, at which time she reached into her purse and attempted to open the beer can."

The officer removed the beer from the woman's hands and asked: What happened? "I don't know," the woman said. The cop asked: Do you know where you are right now? "Bank of America," the woman answered, without pausing. "I noticed no Bank of America anywhere within eyesight," the cop noted. The 27-year-old woman was charged with DUI. Medics examined her legs and body — everything appeared OK.

En route to the police precinct, the woman kept saying, "What's happening" and asking the cop to remove her handcuffs. The cop noted, "I informed her several times that she was under arrest, at which time she would state, 'You're cute,' not seeming to comprehend the situation."

Her police-precinct debut was memorable: The cop recalls, "Upon arrival at the police precinct, I walked [the woman through] the main entrance, at which time she said, 'Taaaa-Daaaaa! I'm here!!!' to anyone and everyone present."

The cop filled out the woman's arrest paperwork and put a shackle on her leg. "Can't I just suck your dick and you not take me to jail or something?" the woman blurted. Nope, shrugged the cop. The woman concluded, "You're an asshole."

THIS IS 30

A suburban guy was peeing on a street near Aaron's Amphitheater at Lakewood. A cop flicked on his blue lights. Startled, the man stopped pissing and quickly walked away. Soon, the man's brisk walk morphed into a jog. "By the time I made it to St. Johns [Avenue], the male was in a full sprint, running northbound on Pryor Road," the cop noted. "The male slowed to a jog as he ran through the parking lot" of a gas station. "I watched as the male ran and quickly ducked behind a vehicle. I then exited my vehicle and stealthily flanked the male." The man darted off, sprinting again. The cop yelled "Police! Stop!" Bystanders cheered, "He got the police running!"

The cop kept up the foot chase. "I was able to catch the male at the entrance to the Lakewood concert [venue]." Once handcuffed, the man said he was very sorry, and he ran due to extreme fear. "I got scared, I grew up running from the police in Dunwoody," the man explained. "I'm athletic, I thought I could get away, but I'm 30 years old now." The man still lives in Dunwoody. He went to jail, charged with peeing in public.

THIS IS 70

Trouble broke out at a retirement complex in Old Fourth Ward. A 71-year-old man said he and his friend/rival nicknamed "Runt" got in a huge argument (Runt was neatly dressed in khaki pants and a green T-shirt). During the spat, Runt grabbed a pair of scissors and stabbed the 71-year-old's arm. So he called police. A cop did see a stab wound on his arm, but the wound wasn't too serious. The 71-year-old refused to go to a hospital — he just wanted cops to write up a police report on his frenemy, Runt.

PARTY POOPER

In the Adamsville neighborhood, a woman and her family held a Sunday cookout and invited a 25-year-old family friend. During the cookout, he started bickering with another guest: the mother of his three children. In the kitchen, the 25-year-old yelled and berated his kids' mother — and he threw several $20 bills at her. The cookout hostess stepped between them and told him to cool it. The 25-year-old allegedly pulled a gun from his waistband, pointed at the cookout hostess, and said she wasn't going to tell him what to do.

His next move was unexpected: He put his gun on top of a dresser, retrieved a pair of boxing gloves from a nearby closet, and attempted to start a fight with another party guest. When the guest refused to fight back, the 25-year-old reportedly waved his gun around and fired four or five shots in the backyard, while children were present. Police arrived and arrested the 25-year-old for his violent party antics.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.





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