The Blotter: Eyes wide shut

A cop patrolling a Sweet Auburn park saw two men smoking at public picnic tables inside a pavilion. The cop approached the smoking men and overheard other people inside the pavilion warning a woman to throw away her liquor bottle before the cop arrived. “She waved them off and refused to listen as I approached,” the cop noted. “Once at the pavilion, I observed the female ... had an open 50ml bottle of Jack Daniels Old No. 7 Black Label.”

The cop gave tickets to the two smoking men and the woman for violating park ordinances. “[The woman] loudly stated that she was legally blind and could not read the ticket, although she was playing a game on her cell phone when I approached her,” the cop recalled. “She requested to write that she was legally blind on the ticket and did so on the bottom of the ticket. She then signed the ticket without hesitation.” The woman, age 49, hails from Grant Park.

Rockin’ some Loubies

In Buckhead, about 10 men swiped $174,000-worth of designer duds. The high-end steal was accomplished with very low-end tools: rocks and garbage bags. The ringleader hurled two large rocks, smashing the boutique’s front window. He stood outside, barking orders to accomplices and yelling, “Hurry up! Hurry up!” Men stuffed dozens of plastic garbage bags with luxury French accessories, including 34 pairs of women’s Christian Louboutin shoes (worth $45,000), 27 Christian Louboutin purses (worth $54,000), 30 pairs of men’s Louboutin shoes (worth $39,000), and 13 Louboutin men’s satchels (worth $26,000).

Also, cops found a big rock in front of the Jimmy Choo store nearby where suspects tried and failed to gain entry.

The whole thing was captured on the boutique’s surveillance cameras. The men’s faces were covered, and they wore mostly black and grey clothes. One suspect wore an Atlanta Braves baseball cap. They fled in four different cars.

Police arrived and poked through the boutique, searching for clues. Aha, the suspects left behind a giant clue that may reveal their identities. On the floor, atop the broken glass, cops found “a black Tommy Hilfiger logo wallet with paper inside containing two names and phone numbers.”

Not on Mickey-Dee’s menu

A family outing to McDonalds went awry. A man wearing a blue Philadelphia 76ers jersey came in with his aunt and uncle. “The male started acting strange and complaining loudly about register No. 2 not being open,” a cop noted. The McDonalds manager said the man started cursing at her and several customers. Then, the man walked to the door and said, “Death is in the air,” as he waved a handgun back and forth in the air. Then his outburst ended. His aunt asked the manager not to call police, saying her nephew is mentally unstable. The aunt, uncle, and nephew ran out the door. Police scoured the area for the upset nephew — a grown man — and his aunt and uncle. No clues were found.

Long drive

In Buckhead, an 84-year-old aunt went missing at a luxury car dealership. Her panicked niece in Alabama said her aunt and uncle drove separately to Atlanta to buy a new Mercedes. Apparently, when the aunt and uncle arrived at the dealership, they were instructed to drive around to the other side of the main building. The uncle drove around to the instructed spot – but the aunt never showed up. The uncle told the dealership’s front desk that his wife was missing — and they called 911. The aunt was driving a white Mercedes with an Alabama tag. The uncle eventually left the Buckhead car dealership, thinking his wife may have returned home. The uncle drove back to their lakefront home in Wedowee, Ala. His wife was not there.

Back in Buckhead, police searched the luxury car dealership for any sign of the missing 84-year-old aunt. No clues. Cops scoured the parking lots and nearby hotels nothing. Hours passed.

Finally the niece called police. Her aunt was alive and well. The aunt said she just took a wrong turn on her way home ... and wound up in Wytheville, Va.

Dented pride

In Southwest Atlanta, a 53-year-old uncle and his 30-year-old niece got into a serious brawl. The subject? The uncle is cheating on his girlfriend – and the niece decided to tell his girlfriend about her uncle’s infidelity.

Here’s what the uncle told police: he confronted his niece and she got upset, pulled out a gun, pointed the gun at him, and threatened to kill him. The uncle tried to get away. His niece jumped on the hood of his car, leaving a dent. Finally, he drove away and called police.

The niece’s story: she was leaving her home, when her uncle showed up. She said the uncle was not welcome there. The uncle blocked her driveway, preventing the niece from leaving, saying they needed to talk. The niece said she feared for her safety so she grabbed her gun from her bedroom and ordered her uncle to leave. Once he started to go, the niece said she put the gun away and tried to get into her car. The niece said her uncle tried to run her over, and she landed on his car, causing a dent. She leapt off the car and her uncle sped away.

Cops arrested both the uncle and niece for aggravated assault.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.