The Blotter: Imaginary groupie

An employee at a Downtown hotel bar recently called police because a 30-year-old Stone Mountain woman refused to pay her tab. When the cop arrived, he asked the woman why she wouldn’t pay her tab. The woman replied, “I am not paying because the Musically Incline Men are going to pay for my drinks.”

The cop noted, “There were no Music Men, nor any men inside the bar at the time.” According to the bartender, the 30-year-old woman did not come to the bar with any men or drink with any men while at bar. “She asked for a water, walked out, and then came back inside the bar for one Maker’s Mark.”

The cop arrested the woman for not paying her $10.55 bar tab and took her to jail. Maybe she’ll meet a cute musician in the slammer.

Firestarter

A rowdy 38-year-old woman refused to leave a gas station/convenience store on Martin Luther King Jr. Drive. According to a store clerk, the woman begged customers for money, blocked the front entrance, and alledgedly threatened to burn the gas pumps with a stick of incense that she had shoplifted. Given the potential fire hazard, the clerk called police.

“When I arrived [the woman] was still holding a lit incense and a cup of liquid and [she] smelled of alcoholic beverage,” a cop noted. “While attempting to walk [the woman] to my patrol vehicle, she kept resisting and pleading that she didn’t want to go and wanted more warnings. On the transport ride to City Jail, [the woman] kept screaming and yelling cusswords at me and even called me a ‘country coon.’”

At the jail, the woman apparently switched focus. The cop noted: “At the City Jail sally port, she urinated all over herself and the holding area and started yelling even louder about a Lotto ticket.”

The woman is now permanently banned from the convenience store.

Shake your moneymaker

A boozed-up California man refused to leave the bar area at a Downtown diner. An off-duty cop started to escort the man, 37, from the diner. “FUCK YOU FAGGOT! FUCK YOUR MOTHER!” the California man yelled. “He then pulled his penis out of his pants and shook it in my direction, while yelling more derogatory terms,” the cop noted. “Then, he crossed the street, not using the crosswalk when one was provided [which is illegal]. When he got to the sidewalk on the other side of the street, he then pulled down his pants and exposed his buttocks.”

At this point, the California man’s drinking buddy — a 32-year-old friend — walked out of the diner. “I told him to take his friend home,” the cop noted.

The friend walked up to the California man and chatted about leaving. During their conversation, the unruly California man allegedly grabbed his friend’s throat and punched him in the face. According to the cop, the friend punched back. “Neither man wanted to press charges,” the cop wrote. “Both males appeared to have bloody mouths, but both refused [medical] treatment. The California man went to jail, charged with public indecency and disorderly conduct. He asked the cop to give his cell phone to his friend — the same friend he just punched — for safekeeping.

Tuckered out

Cops recently found a middle-age man splayed “partially onto the curb and grassy area” of Seminole Avenue in Little Five Points. The man “was unable to stand or move under his own power,” a cop noted. “He admitted to being drunk. He was intoxicated enough not to realize his pants were also down, and he was exposing himself.”

Text distress

A cop received a call from a 41-year-old man about a strange incident that allegedly happened on Hollywood Road in northwest Atlanta. The man said his close friend, a 28-year-old man, met another guy on a dating website. The 41-year-old man drove his friend to an apartment complex so his friend could meet the guy he’d chatted with online.

The 41-year-old said that hours later, he texted his friend about picking him up from the apartment complex. The friend allegedly texted back that he didn’t need a ride — he planned to take a cab home. Then the friend allegedly texted the 41-year-old and asked for his own home address in Chamblee. Suddenly suspicious, the 41-year-old did not text his friend’s address. “[The 41-year-old man] then became concerned because [his friend] was using correct grammar in his text messages,” a cop noted. “[The 41-year-old] explained that [his friend] speaks broken English, so he texts the way he talks.” The cop drove to the Hollywood Road apartment complex and looked around in case the friend was in danger. “I was unable to locate him,” the cop noted.

Fair shot or not?

In Cross Creek neighborhood, a 76-year-old man fell down inside his condo and could not get up. Hours passed. The older man eventually grabbed his green gun and fired a few bullets out his window, trying to get someone’s attention with the noise. Eventually, someone heard the man’s yells for help. A fire truck and police arrived to rescue him. A cop noticed the man’s green gun on the condo floor. “He stated that he fired the rounds earlier this morning to get someone’s attention because he was in his house and unable to get up,” the cop noted. Before the ambulance left, the cop gave the man a ticket ... for firing his gun. Medics took the man to the hospital in stable condition.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.