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The Blotter: Just plain bold

Bizarre stories from Atlanta police reports

A cop recently spotted a man having trouble on the sidewalk outside a nightclub in Midtown. “He was leaning on a parked car and sobbing,” the cop noted. “I approached him and asked if he was OK, or if he needed an ambulance. He looked up at me and said, ‘I would really like to slap you in the face right now.’”

“I was shocked by his response,” the cop wrote. “[I did not] take him seriously, figuring him to be under the influence of some substance. Before I could determine the appropriate course of action, he swung his open hand and slapped me in the face.”

Another cop working near the nightclub tackled the man. Police then handcuffed the man and removed him from the street. The man began to shout and curse during the arrest.

Apparently, the man lost his balance. “I stepped away and turned my back to use the radio and receive my case number from dispatch,” the cop noted. “When I turned back around [the man] was laying on the ground, partially sitting up, with a fresh gash on his right eyebrow and some other scratches on his face.”

Stone-cold response

Cops received a call about a young man allegedly exposing his genitals to statues near the High Museum of Art. “Upon my arrival, I witnessed the suspect with his pants down and his genitals exposed, fondling a statue in front of the location in view of the public.” A security guard said he asked the statue-fondler to leave several times and said the man had been playing with the statues earlier that same evening. Cops arrested the 21-year-old suspect and took him to jail on a public indecency charge.

Payback’s a bitch

On Jonesboro Road, a 29-year-old man said his live-in girlfriend went berserk on him. The man said they were having a verbal argument “about if he was sleeping with another woman,” a cop noted. During the spat, the girlfriend allegedly grabbed “a vase that they use for an ashtray and hit him in the face [and] bit his right hand.” The girlfriend fled with their young son before police arrived, but she returned while the cop was still on the scene. The girlfriend, 25, went to jail. She was charged with battery.

Nasty neighbor, part 1

In Ansley Park, a woman said she was walking her dogs, talking on her cell phone, and getting her mail — all at the same time. The woman told police a male neighbor walked up to her and said, “You are blocking the sidewalk.” The woman ignored him.

Again, the neighbor said, “You are blocking the sidewalk.”

The woman didn’t move.

Next, the woman said the neighbor walked underneath her two dog leashes and allegedly pushed her stomach. “[The woman] could not advise me how he did it,” a cop noted. “All [she] remembers is telling her friend on the phone, ‘Why did he punch me?’” The woman said this is part of an ongoing dispute between herself and the male neighbor. The cop knocked on the male neighbor’s front door, and the neighbor’s wife answered. She said her husband wasn’t home, but the woman always calls police and accuses her husband of assault. The cop told the woman she could take a warrant out on her neighbor.

Nasty neighbor, part 2

On Northside Drive, a 72-year-old woman said she allowed her upstairs neighbor’s grown son and his wife to spend the night with her one Saturday. She went to church the next morning, and when she returned, the wife asked if she could borrow a blouse from the woman’s closet. The 72-year-old woman said she went into her bedroom to get the blouse and when she came out the son and his wife were gone — along with the keys to her car. The woman’s car was last spotted driving along Continental Colony Parkway.

Tattoo taboo

A local 35-year-old woman said she has been trying to get her tattoo finished for more than five months. The woman said she walked into a tattoo parlor and waited for her tattoo artist to arrive to finish inking her body. “[She] said she had been trying to call him, along with texting him, asking if he was coming into work today,” a cop noted. “[She] stated that she already paid him for the work [and] just needed the tattoo to be complete. ... The manager attempted to call the tattoo artist and after awhile she was able to get a hold of him.”

The tattoo artist said he had no intention of finishing the woman’s tattoo. The woman said she asked for another tattoo artist to complete her body art, but the manager alledgedly ordered her to leave the tattoo parlor — permanently. No word on the details of the tattoo the woman so badly desires. She filed a police report over her interrupted ink.

All gold everything

In Midtown, someone broke into a furniture store and stole 5 kilograms of “gold dust” worth $175,000. It’s unclear why the furniture store was holding gold dust in the first place.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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