The Blotter: Liquid revenge

A 25-year-old Kirkwood woman who manages a fast-food restaurant in Midtown said that on a recent Saturday at around 3 a.m., a female customer went berserk in the drive-thru line. The customer was angry because she didn’t receive her ketchup “the proper way.” So she hurled the ketchup at the manager. Then the irate customer flung a cup of alcohol on the manager and sped off in her brand-new GMC Yukon. The quick-thinking manager yelled for someone to write down the customer’s license plate number and called police. The customer can expect a follow-up visit from cops.

Trying to clean up: A 38-year-old woman said she was injured while doing laundry with her daughter at a laundromat near Ormewood Park, so she called the police. She explained the circumstances leading to her injury: “Her daughter wanted to drain some liquid from a can of Vienna sausages,” an officer wrote. “So the mother held the door open so that her daughter could drain the excess liquid outside. It was raining and had been for most of the day, resulting in the sidewalk outside being wet with puddles.”

After the daughter poured out the liquid, she walked back inside and sat at a table. When the mother turned around, she said she slipped and fell — all the way under the table. According to the police report, the woman claimed that she slipped while turning on the “lightly angled handicap accessible ramp” that led to the door. Medics took the woman to a hospital. Her only injuries were bruises and abrasions.

Delusions of persecution: An Atlanta woman became extremely paranoid after she gave up smoking marijuana as a New Year’s resolution. After a few weeks without weed, she went to police with her story: “I was smoking weed and getting it on credit until Dec. 31, 2012. I said no more. Left my apartment and everything in it. [Her drug dealer] was just taking my money each month. I do not owe him anything and he has been to jail for fighting another woman on the property.” The middle-aged woman said she is scared to return to her apartment that she abandoned days ago because she claims her drug dealer told others he would hurt her if he saw her. The woman continued, “I am not a violent person. I know he would hurt me because I am not his moneymaker anymore.” She asked police for a restraining order against her drug dealer.

City too busy to hate: Racial tensions broke out over yard work in Woodland Hills. A landscaper said he was cutting his client’s lawn when a neighbor alledgedly walked up and said, “You are blowing grass all over my yard. You don’t belong in this neighborhood, [racial slur].” According to the police report, the neighbor continued, “I am a Vietnam veteran and I will cut you if you interfere.” Then the neighbor reportedly tried to fight the landscaper, who quickly called police.

The landscaper says the last time he cut this client’s lawn the neighbor walked up and spit on him. When the cop arrived, several witnesses from the neighborhood said they’ve had many problems with the neighbor, a 54-year-old man, and his racist comments toward people walking on the sidewalk outside his house.

Worst. Date. Ever.: A 31-year-old woman brought a date back to her apartment on a recent Saturday night. Suddenly, the woman’s ex-boyfriend tapped on her window. Awkward. The woman did not respond to the window-tapping. The ex-boyfriend followed another resident into the building (and past the locked entryway) and then walked upstairs and knocked on the woman’s front door. Worried, the woman told her date — a 58-year-old man — to hide on her balcony. The woman hid in the bedroom. Somehow, the ex-boyfriend got inside the apartment. (Perhaps he still has a key? No signs of damage or forced entry.) Then he kicked in the bedroom door, breaking it into several pieces.

When the ex busted down the door the new male friend got scared and tried to hop from the woman’s balcony over to the neighbor’s balcony. He missed and tumbled from the second-story balcony and broke his leg. The ex-boyfriend fled before cops arrived. An ambulance arrived to take the date to the hospital.

Dazed and confused: Around 1:40 a.m. in north Buckhead, cops received a call about a person slumped over the steering wheel of a BMW parked at a stop sign. Medics tried to wake the driver by knocking on the BMW’s windows. According to the lead medic, the driver eventually responded to the knocking, but “would only speak to us with the window rolled up and the door locked.” Also, the driver, a 42-year-old man, kept saying that his wife was sitting right next to him in the car — but no one was there. The medic examined the man, who smelled of booze.

A cop asked the driver if her was OK. The driver responded that he was fine, adding that his wife is “somewhere around here.” The man admitted to having “two beers at a friend’s house.” The cop asked the man to get out of the car, but the man could barely stand. He “then began walking toward me and swaying back and forth,” the cop wrote. The man said he lives around the corner, but he fell asleep because he was lost.

Turns out, the man lives about two miles away. Instead of returning home, the man went jail for DUI. His BMW was impounded.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.