The Blotter: Naked and afraid

In Ansley Park, cops responded to a dispute between a 36-year-old woman subletting a home to a couple with a 1-year-old son. The distraught parents said they came home one day and the 36-year-old landlord was alledgedly “running around the home naked.” The parents claim the naked landlord snatched their 1-year-old son out of bed. By the time police arrived, the naked landlord had disappeared.

Days later, the agitated landlord returned to the home while everyone was asleep and started screaming and yelling until everyone woke up. The father, fearing for his son’s safety, called 911. As she tried to flee, the landlord hopped into her car, put it in reverse, and nearly hit the father as she backed out to the street. The landlord is described as an unstable drug user. Police told the parents to change the locks to their home.

Sucker punch

At a grocery store on Ponce de Leon Avenue, a 25-year-old man said he was shopping for food when a 48-year-old man alledgedly punched him for no reason. The 25-year-old said he’s never met the man who punched him, and the two did not exchange any words before the out-of-the-blue punch. A cop spoke to the 48-year-old man, who said “it was God’s will” for him to punch the 25-year-old shopper. The 48-year-old man said he did not have a mental disorder. “He could not tell me what today’s date was nor the year,” the cop noted. “He also said that he was still in the state of California.” The 48-year-old man went to jail on a battery charge.

Shiny happy people

A 20-year-old woman said she parked her truck next to a restaurant on West Peachtree Street. About an hour later, the woman noticed that her ex-roommate was hanging around the restaurant. (The 20-year-old said she recently moved out and refused to pay September’s rent.) Another hour passed, and the 20-year-old decided to check on her truck. The passenger side had been keyed and an outside mirror was broken off. Even more bizarre, the woman said her ex-roommate “texted her several smiley faces.” Police found no substantial clues to established who keyed the woman’s truck.

Personal Jesus

On the Westside, cops on patrol were confronted by a 23-year-old man who said someone broke into his SUV while he was at a nightclub with his buddies. Three other men in their 20s were riding in the SUV and they confirmed the man’s story. Missing items from the SUV include: speakers, an alarm, a pair of retro Jordan shoes, Gucci sunglasses ($550), grey-and-white Prada shoes ($350), an iPhone, a bag of clothes, and a “Gold Face of Jesus Emblem” (worth $1,150) that belongs on a chain. A cop noted, “It seemed suspicious that everyone left all their jewelry and phone in the vehicle when going to the club. But they said they kept [the valuables] in the car because they didn’t want to lose [them] inside the club.” Apparently, the SUV was too filthy to fingerprint. “The exterior of the vehicle had too much dirt present to retrieve any prints,” a cop noted.

Strange fear

In Kirkwood, cops and Atlanta firefighters received a call about a suspicious package in the middle of the intersection at College Avenue and Rockyford Road. Turns out, the package wasn’t really suspicious at all. A cop noted, “When I arrived I discovered [the package] to be a lunch box with someone’s personal property inside.” The lunch box included food, an iPhone, and two DVDs.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.