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The Blotter: Pin-sanity

A 25-year-old woman called police to her Midtown home to settle a dispute with her boyfriend. “[The woman] said she was upset with her boyfriend [a 39-year-old man] because he gave a stripper ... his debit card PIN information,” a cop noted. “She stated that she no longer wishes to date him.”

Flummoxed, the cop didn’t know what to do with this information. Both the girlfriend and boyfriend appeared to be “intoxicated,” the cop noted. “Neither party showed any sign of physical abuse.”

The cop asked the boyfriend for his side of the story. “He said he did not give his debit card PIN to anyone, and that he just wants the issue peacefully resolved.” The boyfriend agreed to leave the apartment for the night to give his girlfriend a chance to cool off.

Sidecar Sally

An officer recently responded to a dispute at an apartment in Midtown. “Upon my arrival, I was met at the door by [a 36-year-old married woman], who appeared to be distraught and stated that her side piece (a.k.a. the man she is sleeping with) was upset because she asked him to leave her apartment and grabbed her hair,” the cop noted. “After grabbing her hair, he put his hand on her face, pushed it away. She ran downstairs and into her garage. Once in the garage, she locked herself in her car and used her husband’s (who has been out of town this month) phone to call police.”

The woman’s “side piece” was still pissed, and his next move suggested their fling may be nearing an end. The cop noted, “He grabbed her house keys and threw them in the sewer and left her apartment to return home to see his girlfriend.” The married woman requested a police report — even though she repeatedly said she wasn’t hurt and declined an ambulance.

In hole, stop digging

On Broad Street in Downtown, a 52-year-old man allegedly took a big swig from a small bottle of Epic Vodka. “[The man] was only able to consume about half the bottle before being caught,” the cop wrote. “As we approached him, he began to act in a nonchalant manner by picking up litter that was around him. He refused to tell me his name. I told him that I needed to properly identify him. After repeatedly asking him for his name, he told me that his name was Mother Fucker.”

The cop continued: “He stated that he did not give a fuck how many charges I put on the ticket, and it did not matter because he would be out before I would get off work.”

During the arrest, the man spoke “without slurred speech, he would walk as any normal person would.” But once they got to jail, “for some reason [he] began to act out as if he was drunk and unable to walk.”

The man kept acting more and more inebriated, but he wasn’t fooling the police. “He began to pretend to be extremely drunk, after using city-approved techniques on reviving a drunk, I was able to successfully make him get up and walk normally.”

The man was charged with giving false information to police. He’s also accused of drinking in public and obstructing a police investigation.

Parting gift

On Martin Luther King Jr. Drive, a 36-year-old woman told police “her ex-spouse was hanging out at the location and she wanted to confront him over giving her an STD,” a cop noted. The woman said once she told her ex-husband about the STD, he didn’t exactly apologize. Instead, her ex-spouse alledgedly grabbed a gun and fired a bullet into a nearby wall. The bullet went directly into the wall and didn’t come close to hitting anyone. In addition, the woman said her ex is jobless, apartment-less, and generally a dick. Nothing further to report.

Spring fever

In Downtown, a citizen walked up to police and said there might be an intoxicated driver slumped over the steering wheel of a car parked on Whitehall Street. A cop checked it out: No one was sleeping in the car that was parked with the engine running. Instead, two adults were bouncing around in the driver’s seat.

“As I walked closer to the vehicle, I noticed [the man] performing sexual intercourse with the woman, who was not wearing any pants. I shined the flashlight on [the man’s] face to alert his attention and noticed they were bloodshot red. I also shouted in a loud tone, ‘Atlanta Police, roll down the window!’”

The man doing the wild thing did not comply — he continued to have sex with the lady. “I then used my flash light and tapped on the driver’s side window repeatedly. As the door opened, I smelled a strong odor of burnt marijuana and noticed there was an almost empty bottle of Ciroc Red Berry Vodka on the driver’s seat of the vehicle.” The frisky couple went to jail on multiple charges.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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