The Blotter: Rubber revenge

On the Westside, a 28-year-old bearded man took a break from his job at a Japanese fast-food restaurant on Howell Mill Road. According to witnesses, the bearded man walked to the parking lot and put a condom filled with urine on a black Mercedes belonging to a 26-year-old woman. Note: The bearded man did all this while wearing his fast-food uniform. After dropping off the condom, the bearded man returned to work.

A witness saw the condom escapade go down. When cops arrived, the witness identified the bearded man as the culprit. The bearded man was arrested and taken to jail. He offered no explanation for why he targeted the woman’s Mercedes.

Dumb and dumber

Two men recently shared a 25-ounce Bud Light Lemon-Ade-Rita while sitting on the steps of the City of Atlanta Public Safety Headquarters on Peachtree Street. Eventually, three cops strolled down the steps and spotted the beer-sipping men. The cops arrested them for drinking in public.

The first man, 34, had a black purse containing two knives, one can of pepper spray, and two unopened beers. The second guy, 48, had a gray backpack that did not contain anything interesting. Both men’s bags were turned in to police property.

Don’t think twice

Cops recently received a call about public indecency at a South Buckhead high-rise apartment building. A security guard spotted a 29-year-old man “on the 7th floor without his pants on ... inside the closet with running water on the floor,” a cop noted. This was the second time the 29-year-old had pulled the no-pants-in-the-closet stunt. He “had been previously trespassing in the building on June 7th ... at which time [the same] incident took place,” a cop noted.

The 29-year-old told police he’d met a potential lover “on a dating site at which time [the potential lover] robbed him and put him out of the apartment,” a cop wrote. “[He] was unable to provide an apartment number ... and was without his pants.”

The first time, cops let the man off with a trespassing warning. This time, cops took him to jail. The 29-year-old does not live at this particular South Buckhead high-rise apartment building — he hails from Conyers.

Bold farewell

In the West End, a group of people gathered around a guy painting the middle of a busy street. The crowd was impeding traffic. Cops arrived and found a 35-year-old man “holding a paint can in one hand and a big paint brush in the other hand, and he was painting big letters in the middle of Oakland Drive. He had painted ‘RIP FATDaddy’ on the pavement.”

The street painter bolted when he saw police. “He got to a tall privacy fence and tried to jump over it, but could not, and it knocked him backward,” a cop noted. Cops quickly nabbed him and took him to jail and charged him with spray-painting/graffiti and obstructing police.

Fight night

A fight recently broke out at a restaurant on 10th Street in Midtown. A 37-year-old woman said a male and female attacked her. The female suspect was long gone when cops arrived. Witnesses gave conflicting statements about the male suspect; some said he hit the 37-year-old woman, others said he tried to break up the fight and did not attack the woman.

The bar manager said that when the fight began, he ordered everyone involved to leave the restaurant, and the male suspect became upset and swung his fist at the bar manager, but he missed.

Cops took the male suspect to their patrol car and informed him he was being arrested for disorderly conduct. Once seated in the patrol car, the male suspect started complaining of “claustrophobia and panic attack,” the cop wrote.

Risky bluff

In Southwest Atlanta, a 27-year-old man got into verbal spat with a short man in a red shirt with a Mohawk haircut with both arms covered in tattoos. The reason for the verbal spat? The 27-year-old’s relationship with his girlfriend.

Apparently, the spat escalated when Mohawk man brandished a silver handgun and said, “I’ve been wanting to shoot you.”

Bluffing, the 27-year-old responded, “Shoot me.”

The Mohawk man did not shoot, so the 27-year-old walked back to his apartment and called police. He said he does not know Mohawk man’s real name.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.