The Blotter: Stupid pot tricks

Someone nicknamed “Ace” posted an ad on Craigslist advertising “marijuana for sale” in Atlanta. An undercover cop noted: “I had contacted this individual and arranged to purchase half an ounce of marijuana for $220.” The cop arranged to meet Ace at a Midtown coffee shop for the exchange. Ace indicated she’d arrive in a gray car. “I instructed the suspect to park in the handicapped space and that I would hop into her vehicle,” the cop noted. Apparently, Ace complied, and pulled into a handicapped space (breaking yet another law). The cop hopped into her car, forked over $220 for some “high grade” marijuana, and called for backup. Police identified the suspect as a 24-year-old woman who hails from Menlo Park, Calif.

To conclude the police report, the cop noted he was turning in a receipt for expenses incurred. The cop wrote, “An additional $18 in city funds were utilized to purchase props/food in order to blend in with patrons” at the Midtown coffee shop. Ladies and gentlemen, those are your tax dollars at work!

Naked ambition

Police recently made a surprise visit to a local strip club. Several officers quizzed staffers inside the establishment’s locker room. A 23-year-old man was sitting “in front of a mirror with several iron curlers,” according to the report. An officer asked, “What is your job description?” The man said he does hair for the club’s strippers. The cop asked the man if he had an adult-entertainment permit. No, the man replied. “I explained to [him] that every person working inside an adult entertainment establishment needed a permit. [The suspect] then changed his story and stated that he didn’t work for [the strip club] and that he only did hair for his cousin and friends.”

Cops also busted a 28-year-old woman. She said she isn’t a dancer — she’s a makeup artist. Cops gave both of them tickets and fines for lack of appropriate permits to work in a strip club. The woman asked police to write on her citation that she’s not a dancer, she’s a makeup artist.

Not dressed for success

At a local day care facility, an employee said a strange man kept looking into the windows and refused to leave the day care’s parking lot. She described the man as tall, wearing lime-green dress pants, a dirty white T-shirt, and black converse tennis shoes. He was gone when police arrived.

Too old for catfights, part 1

A 36-year-old woman said she was beat up by two older women in a fight on Lakewood Avenue. The victim said she was walking to a nearby store when two suspects in their 40s jumped her from behind and started punching and kicking her. She said the primary suspect is a female acquaintance nicknamed “Angel” who wore khaki shorts and a white shirt. Several anonymous sources confirmed to police that Angel was the main aggressor in the fight. Cops tracked her down at her home. A woman opened the door and said the victim spit on her, which prompted the fight. Her accomplice was hanging out inside. Cops took Angel and her sidekick to jail.

Too old for catfights, part 2

Money sparked a lady brawl between two women after an recent event on Peachtree Street. A woman in a bright yellow dress lunged at her opponent, flinging soup in her face. Apparently, the soup also splattered on several women standing nearby, including a mother clutching a baby. The soup-flinger confessed to her crime, and said the catfight erupted because the other woman put her hand in her face. The soup-flinger in the yellow dress went to jail on a disorderly conduct charge.

Bad egg

A 22-year-old woman said someone keeps messing with her car while its parked outside her home in South Atlanta. After the first incident, the woman found a gash on her car. Nine days later, she found two more long scratches on her car. Two days after that, she found dried egg all over her car, along with eggshells and three new long scratches. There are no clue as to any suspects in the egg-scratch case.

Party pooper

A young man said an acquaintance nicknamed “Rampage” invited him to come party at Rampage’s new apartment near Fulton County Airport. Rampage said some girls were coming over soon, and the man should bring liquor and marijuana. Intrigued, the man decided to go to Rampage’s party. When he parked outside Rampage’s new apartment, the man said Rampage and two friends walked out. A warm welcome was not the plan. The man said Rampage pulled out a gun and said, “You know what time it is, give us the money.” Rampage and his friends allegedly stole the man’s car, keys, cell phone, and $420 cash. Next time, be wary of sassy invites from acquaintances named Rampage.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.