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The Blotter January 11 2006

A WOMAN visited her dentist at his office on Broad Street. The dentist asked if she was following his cleaning instructions for her earlier procedure. "No," the woman said. According to the woman, a dental assistant came into the room and held her down. Then, the dentist operated on the woman without using painkillers, she said. When the dentist was finished, they let the woman up and asked her again if she was following the dentist's instructions for cleaning.

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The woman left the dentist's office and called police.

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A SECURITY GUARD was patrolling a vacant apartment building undergoing renovations on Humphries Street. The guard found a man called "Spermhead" inside one apartment. Apparently, Spermhead was loading doors from vacant apartments into a truck. So the guard called police. Spermhead explained that a man named "Houndog" told him to load the doors while Houndog went and asked if they could actually have the doors. But Houndog fled before police arrived.

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Spermhead is described as a 38-year-old man with a crew cut. He was jailed for theft.

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A MIDDLE-AGED MAN said he was assaulted by a guy called "Candy Man." He said he borrowed $3 from Candy Man a few weeks ago. One day, Candy Man came to collect his money, but the man didn't have it. So Candy Man grabbed a beer bottle and hit the man's head. Candy Man is described as a thin man with gold teeth, in his 20s.

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A WOMAN ON EDGEWOOD AVENUE got some harassing phone calls from a former employee. The former employee said the woman's husband tried to abduct her from the gym. Also, the former employee gave detailed information about the husband's workout at the gym. The former employee said she is part of a social experiment — and that the phones were tapped on both ends. A police report was filed on the former employee, a 36-year-old woman.

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AN UNDERCOVER POLICE OFFICER contacted a woman via her Internet advertisement for escort services. They arranged to meet in a hotel room on Spring Street. When the woman arrived, she took off her business clothes and offered to have sex for $150. She said she'd been massaging a guy all day and she'd just left the nail salon, so she couldn't give a massage. She was too tired, she said.

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The woman went to jail for escorting without a permit.

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A MIDDLE-AGED MAN rented out his house on Bridgewater Street to a New Orleans evacuee. The house was fully furnished with food, appliances, dishes and furniture. The tenant, a 31-year-old woman, never paid rent and moved out Christmas Eve. "She took all the appliances that she could carry and all of the furniture out of the house," wrote the police officer. The tenant took the sofa, a recliner, the living room table, and a bedroom set, among other items.

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A WOMAN told police that she is missing $5,000 worth of jewelry that she kept in a Crown Royal bag. She believes that she left the bag at a restaurant on Spring Street.

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A POLICE OFFICER was working undercover at the intersection of Jonesboro Road and Rhodesia Avenue. A woman in a green dress walked up to his car. She asked if he wanted a good blow job. She said, "I can give good head because I have no teeth." The officer asked, "How much money are you talking about?" The woman said she'd give real good head for $150. The woman, age 39, was arrested for prostitution.

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A WOMAN went to a Mexican restaurant on Chattahoochee Avenue. While she was inside, someone broke into her BMW. The only items reported stolen: a prosthetic boot, a Bible and four CDs.

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SEVERAL FEMALE LIBRARIANS at the Bowen Homes Library said a man called about 10 times in two hours. The man threatened to "blow their brains out," they said. The man told one librarian to "come outside and whoop him." The librarians do not know the male caller. A police officer reported the incident and was informed that a recent memo went out to other library branches about this same male caller.

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AROUND 5 A.M., the burglar alarm went off at a restaurant on Marietta Street. Two officers responded. They saw that someone had broken the restaurant's front window. The police officers walked inside the restaurant — no one was there. Several broken liquor bottles were on the floor. One officer spotted another liquor bottle about 50 feet from the restaurant. The officer walked outside and found six more liquor bottles nearby. The officer kept walking and found three more liquor bottles. "At that point, I heard a noise around the corner of the building," the officer wrote. The officer crept around and saw a man asleep on the ground. "He was curled up with a candy machine between his legs and around his arms." Turns out, the candy machine belonged to the restaurant. The man, age 53, went to jail.

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A 21-YEAR-OLD MAN was involved in an "intimate moment" with a woman — who's not his girlfriend. Of course, the man's girlfriend walks in (the "intimate moment" took place at the girlfriend's apartment on Luckie Street, no less). In a rage, the girlfriend grabbed a corkscrew. She stabbed the boyfriend's head and the other woman's arm. The girlfriend was arrested for aggravated assault. (And, for the first time in Blotter history, someone used a corkscrew to avenge getting screwed over.)

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Items in The Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta Police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.





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