The Blotter February 15 2006

ON PEACHTREE STREET, an officer saw a man making a suspected drug transaction in a known drug area. The officer wrote, “The defendant noticed the police approaching him and threw the Brazilian nut pieces (that was sold as suspected crack cocaine) on city sidewalk and destroyed them. At that time, the police approached him and advised about the situation. The defendant was charged accordingly. ... The police did find (7) whole Brazilian nuts in the defendant’s pocket.” The man was charged with disorderly conduct.

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AT 5:50 P.M., police responded to a call about a suspicious man who was urinating on Roswell Road. When the officer arrived, a middle-aged man was dancing on the sidewalk, swinging his arms. The man said he would kick the officer’s ass. Then, he threw trash at passing cars. He was arrested for disorderly conduct. The man started talking nonsense about his father, King of Saudi Arabia, and refused to give his date of birth. The man, who is homeless, went to jail.

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A WOMAN WITH A SCARRED CHEEK walked into a barbershop on Joseph E. Lowery Boulevard. (Previously, she had been arrested for trespassing at this same barbershop.) Employees asked her to leave, but instead the woman went to the restroom. When police arrived, the woman said she gets her eyebrows shaped at the barbershop. She also told police, “Yes, I smell, but you smell like a pig.” (In fact, the woman smelled like booze.) An officer got her into the patrol car. She started swearing and said someone had stolen her purse and ID (even though she had both items with her). She also said she was bleeding from her arm and toe, but there were no visible injuries. She was arrested for trespassing.

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ON CAMPBELLTON ROAD, a man said he was asleep at 7:30 a.m. The mother of his child got mad when she found other women’s phone numbers in his cell phone. So she woke him up by pulling his hair. She started to laugh, and she grabbed a cheese grater and waved it at him, cutting his arms.

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AN OFFICER WAS PATROLLING a city park on Compton Drive. He saw a couple sitting in a blue Buick. As the officer got closer, the couple started moving around frantically. The man’s pants were unbuttoned and his genitals exposed. The woman was nude from the waist down. The officer asked, “What are you doing?” They both said they were taking pictures for a Web page. The man had a digital camera and a camcorder. They were arrested for public indecency.

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A 20-YEAR-OLD WOMAN said she met a woman named “Big Baby” while walking around Thomasville Heights. Big Baby asked if she would do her a favor and deposit a check for $5,700 into her bank account. The 20-year-old wanted to be nice, so she agreed. She gave her bank account number to Big Baby. A few days later, Big Baby asked her to withdraw the money. So the 20-year-old withdrew $4,100 and gave it to Big Baby. Big Baby, in turn, gave her $500 as a reward. Later, the woman’s bank contacted her and said the check was bad.

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A MAN AND WOMAN were screaming at each other outside on Simpson Road. (They used to be married.) When police arrived, the woman ran up to the patrol car and said, “He hit me! He hit me! He hit me dead in my face. He hit me!” The man got mad and said, “So you gonna have me locked up again over some shoes?” The officer asked, “So this is all over some shoes?” The woman said, “He hit me and I want my shoes.” The ex-husband walked around the corner, grabbed her shoes, and gave them to her. The officer examined the woman — she didn’t have any bruises or marks. The officer asked, “Did he hit you?” The woman said, “No, he didn’t hit me, but I am gonna get back my shoes.” She was arrested for false report of a crime.

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ONE SATURDAY MORNING, a woman woke up at her apartment on Wilkes Boulevard. Her ex-boyfriend was in her bedroom — and he reached for her cell phone and put it in his pocket. Then, he started choking her. So the woman stabbed him with the foot of a toy doll. She tried to run away, but he grabbed her hair. So she stabbed his hand with the point of a belt buckle. He pushed her and said, “Come at me again and I’ll kill you.” Then, the ex-boyfriend rushed at the woman. She armed herself with an iron skillet and hit him in the head. He fled before police arrived.

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A MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN accidentally left her cell phone at a convenience store on Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard. Later, a strange man called her and offered to return her cell phone — in exchange for $20 or “booty.”

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AN OFFICER was sent to deal with a car accident in front of a Wendy’s restaurant on Peachtree Road. The passenger of the car wouldn’t let the driver tell police what happened. The passenger told the officer, “Look, buddy, the U.S. postal truck struck our vehicle.”

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The officer wrote that since “I did not know this passenger and was not his buddy, I requested his identification.” Turns out, the passenger was wanted in Bibb County for parole violation. He went to jail.

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All items in The Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.