The Blotter June 21 2006

A WOMAN said her husband of 10 years has become delusional during the last two weeks. She said her husband is obsessively paranoid about his neighbors and the police. Sometimes, he hides in the bushes and tries to catch his neighbors and police in the act of spying on him. The wife has tried to get her husband to voluntarily go for an evaluation, but he refuses. The officers took the husband to Grady Memorial Hospital for observation.

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ON BRIARCLIFF ROAD, an elderly woman called police and said her neighbor pushed her down when she tried to get into a cab. When an officer arrived, the woman was standing on the front stoop of her building, yelling at the cab driver. The cab driver said the woman was drunk and no longer needed a cab. The officer asked the woman, “Did you call 911?” The woman told the officer to look at her wounds. So he did. The woman had a cut on her leg and she smelled of booze. She said her neighbor tried to rape her. The officer asked, “Do you want to go to Grady for an examination?” “No,” the woman yelled. The officer wrote, “While waiting for the ambulance, it was clear to me that [the woman] was intoxicated. She could not walk without falling down, she was slurring her speech and she informed me that she flew F-16 fighter jets for the Navy.” The woman said she’d been drinking Thunderbird 121. She said she was standing on the front stoop when her neighbor came up and grabbed her from behind. The officer asked, “What happened next?” The woman replied, “Nothing happened.” The officer asked, “So how did you know your neighbor planned to rape you?” The woman said, “I just knew.”

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The officer got ahold of the neighbor (a 25-year-old man). The neighbor said he saw the elderly woman earlier, but only said hello to her.

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A WOMAN AND HER BOYFRIEND were at the intersection of Elm and Fair streets. According to the woman, they got into an argument because the boyfriend wanted her to go right at the intersection, and she wanted to go left. The boyfriend said, “Call police now.” Then, he hit her once in the face and took off running.

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The woman had no visible injuries. She refused medical attention, but filed a police report.

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A MOTHER AND DAUGHTER were arrested for getting into a fight. The mother said her daughter started punching her and throwing things around the bathroom after a short verbal spat over underwear and a bra.

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The daughter’s story: Her mother got violent and pushed her and pulled her hair when she found out the daughter was wearing a pair of her mom’s underwear and a bra. Both mother and daughter were charged with disorderly conduct.

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IN MIDTOWN, a man had cut the crotch and ass out of his jeans and was standing in the street, flagging down cars. The man said he was a prostitute, like all the other girls. He was charged for indecency and impeding traffic.

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POLICE WERE INVESTIGATING complaints about drug activity on Parkway Drive. One officer was conducting an interview when another man walked up. The man looked at the officer and said, “I’m just tired of smoking dope. I need my wife back in my life.” The officer asked, “Do you live in the area?” The man said, “No, I’m from New Orleans.” The officer asked, “Do you have any illegal drugs or weapons?” The man said, “Yes, officer, I do.” He threw a white object on the hood of the patrol car. It was a $10 hit of crack. The man, age 31, was arrested and taken to jail. The man asked the officer to ask the judge to keep in him jail, so he could get some help.

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ON BOULDER PARK DRIVE, a 25-year-old woman said she and her boyfriend got into an argument because “I could smell pussy on his dick.” She said that during the argument he hit her and pulled her down the street. The boyfriend was gone when police arrived.

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ON MAYSON AVENUE, an officer stopped a man for walking in the street. The officer asked the man for his name, and the man complied. The officer checked the man’s name on a computer — but his name came back as “not on file.” The officer said, “I don’t believe that’s your real name.” The man said, “If I give you my real name, You’ll find out I’m wanted.” Eventually, the man gave the officer his real name.

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The officer checked the real name on the computer. Turns out, the man was not wanted. So the officer arrested him for “false representation to police.” (Basically, he was arrested for giving a fake name.)

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AN OFFICER was patrolling Edgewood Avenue when a 45-year-old man ran up and started kicking the patrol car. The man was arrested for disorderly conduct and taken to jail.

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A SEVERELY DRUNK WOMAN stumbled across Simpson Street to talk to a police officer. She could barely stand. She kept saying she had to “pee and eat. I’m hungry.” The officer asked her to go home. She was incapable of doing so. She was arrested for public drunkenness.

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A MAN walked into Grady Memorial Hospital and became combative. He was angry because he was told he would have to wait in the waiting room. He shouted vulgarities and said everyone was the devil. The man had been arrested 14 times before for trespassing at Grady. He went to jail.

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TWO OFFICERS performed a random registration check on a Toyota Camry car tag. Turns out the car was stolen. The officers followed the Camry as it traveled north on Hollywood Road. The Camry pulled into a parking lot. Police detained the driver — a 40-year-old man — without any trouble. The driver said he should have known the Camry was stolen since he paid $50 for it. (Note: He paid $50 for a 2002 maroon Camry.) The man said he tried to return the Camry, but he couldn’t find the man he bought it from, so he kept the car. He was jailed for receiving a stolen car.

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lauren.keating@creativeloafing.com.

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Items in The Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.