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The Blotter July 12 2006

Bizarre crimes from Atlanta Police reports

AN 87-YEAR-OLD WOMAN walked into an office building on Peachtree Road. She went to the desk in the lobby and asked to cash her Social Security checks. She thought the building was a bank. A police officer walked up and asked her how she was doing. The woman asked, "Are you going to cash my Social Security check?" Every time the officer asked her a question, she replied with, "This is a bank. How come you won't cash my checks?" Eventually, police located the woman's brother, who picked her up.

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TWO OFFICERS were patrolling Kirkwood Road. They stopped to say hello to the owner of a car wash. A man walked by on Kirkwood Road. The man looked at the officer, turned away, and then spit on the officer's shoe. "Stop walking," the officer said. Smiling, the man turned around and hit the officer with a can of fruit punch. He hit the officer's face and chest. Then, the man ran around the back of a house. The officers chased him. The man tried to scale a six-foot fence in the back yard, but was met by a large dog on the other side. So the man turned around and faced one officer. "I'm about to fuck you up," the man said. Then, he charged the officer, throwing several punches. The man grabbed one officer and pushed him onto a fence with barbed wire at the top. The officer tried to use pepper-spray on the man, but it was knocked out of his hands. Eventually, another officer showed up and pepper-sprayed the man.

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But the first officer momentarily lost his vision from the cloud of pepper-spray. Eventually, police restrained the man and took him to jail. The can of fruit punch was turned in as evidence.

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AT AN APARTMENT COMPLEX on Peters Street, a man heard loud music fading in and out. Then, the music stopped and a single gunshot rang out. The man saw another man in baggy shorts come out of an adjacent apartment and then go back. So he called police.

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An officer went to the adjacent apartment and knocked on the door. A woman opened the door, and the officer smelled marijuana. The officer asked the woman if she'd heard any gunshots. After pausing a moment, she said she didn't. She said she didn't live there, she was just visiting a friend. The officer told her to go get her friend. So she did, and returned with an angry and agitated man. The officer asked if he'd heard any gunshots that night. The man replied, "Man, I didn't shoot no fucking gun. I live here and I'm just trying to get some sleep." The man was extremely drunk and possibly on drugs. Then, the man said he owned a gun, but he didn't shoot it. The officer asked the man if he would show him the gun. The man voluntarily asked the officer to come inside his apartment, saying, "You can come in and help me find my gun because I am not sure where it exactly is because I never use it!" The officer went inside. On a red couch in the living room, there were 15 baggies of marijuana. The officer arrested the man and got a search warrant for the rest of the apartment. Police found a gun in the apartment. In the garage, there was a bag with four brick kilos of cocaine. Turns out, the man had a lengthy criminal history and used several aliases. The man — who invited police inside his apartment — went to jail.

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A PLANE bound for Cleveland taxied back to the gate at Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport. The pilot told police that he wanted a passenger arrested for interfering with the flight crew. Apparently, a passenger had put a paper towel in a lighting fixture over his seat because some condensation was dripping from the lighting fixture and onto him. A flight attendant told him not to do that because it was a fire hazard, and removed the paper towels.

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Later, another flight attendant said the man had stuffed a blanket in the light fixture. The man got upset and asked for a new seat. The flight attendant told the pilot that he was having problems with a passenger. The plane was headed to a runway, but the pilot turned around and headed back to the gate. The pilot insisted that police arrest the man. So the man was removed from the plane. Police contacted an FBI agent, who said he wouldn't bring charges against the man because it was an FAA violation. No charges were filed, and the man was allowed to leave.

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A CARTERSVILLE WOMAN was driving her Ford SUV on I-85. An officer said she was weaving from lane to lane and almost hit his patrol car. Then, she started driving in the emergency lane.

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Another officer stopped her car. He approached the woman, who was holding a cell phone. She asked the officer if he just called her. The officer said, "How could I have just called you when I didn't know who you were?" "Indeed," the woman replied. She was arrested for DUI. The woman said the reason she drove in the emergency lane was because she thought it was an exit. She said she had a drinking problem in the past, but had not drank anything in one year ... until that night.

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lauren.keating@creativeloafing.com

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Items in The Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.





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