The Blotter July 19 2006

SOMEONE STOLE an American flag off the deck of a man’s home on Flynn Street.

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The American flag is valued at $36.

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AN OFFICER responded to a call about a suspicious car parked in a driveway on Glendale Terrace. As the officer walked up, the car started to back out of the driveway. The officer told the driver to turn the car off. The driver tried to speed out of the driveway but police stopped him.

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Police told the driver to get out of the car. The driver emerged, wearing no pants or underwear. (He is a 27-year-old man.) The passenger, also male, had his pants and underwear around his ankles. The driver said, “We were not having sex yet, but we were about to before you showed up.” Both men were arrested for indecency. Both men had Southern accents.

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The passenger had three condoms, one pack of rolling papers, 80 Zantac tablets and one tube of Joe Lube brand lubrication. Those items were turned in to police property.

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AT THE FOX THEATRE, several patrons complained about a woman who was drunk and shouting and cursing while they were trying to enjoy a concert. Ushers asked the woman to step into the lobby. A police officer arrived. The officer noted that he’d seen the woman in the drink line earlier, buying champagne. The woman was talking loudly and referred to one of the patrons who complained about her as “that 50-year-old bitch with the dyke haircut.” The officer asked the woman to lower her voice and speak nicely. The woman replied, “I paid $130 for my ticket and I’ll fucking say what I want.” Eventually, the woman was asked to leave the Fox Theatre. Then, she “placed her finger forcefully” into the police officer’s chest and pushed him. She was arrested for disorderly conduct.

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The woman hails from West Virginia. It was a Sheryl Crow concert.

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A WOMAN reported that her company got a call from a man claiming to be a client of the company. The man asked the company to forward all his calls to the DeKalb County Jail. The man said all the company needed to do was dial 72# and he would get the calls. The woman said the company later figured out that the whole thing was a scam. The company was charged for all the calls as a result.

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AN OFFICER responded to the Atlanta Police Academy on Southside Industrial Boulevard because the building alarm was going off. Turns out, someone had left a door open. Nothing appeared to be disturbed or missing.

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A MAN CALLED POLICE and said he found some drugs in his townhome on Hampton Way. A police officer arrived, and the man showed him some marijuana and methamphetamine in a small baggie that was hidden under a computer mousepad. The man said he’d just returned from an out-of-state trip, and he wasn’t sure how the drugs got into his townhome. He said his roommate or friend might have left them.

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A MAN WITH YELLOW TEETH tried to steal one Carolina Pride sausage from a grocery store on Martin Luther King Jr. Drive. The sausage is worth $3.

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A 43-YEAR-OLD MAN said he met a stocky woman two or three days ago. Now, the woman is calling his home and harassing him. He says she called seven times in one day, cursing him out, and calling him out of his name.

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AN UNDERCOVER OFFICER was patrolling the area of Campbellton Road. A woman walked up and got in the car. She had a ponytail, a red shirt and denim shorts. She offered to give the officer “head” in exchange for $38 — because it was her 38th birthday. The woman was arrested for solicitation. Turns out, she’s actually 35 years old. And it wasn’t her birthday.

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A 39-YEAR-OLD MAN wearing dirty blue jeans flagged down a police officer on Fletcher Street. The man said he had been beaten and robbed by six men at about 1 a.m. He said they took his wife’s car (a white 2001 Oldsmobile Aurora). The officer took the man to the police station for further investigation. Later, the man said he sold his wife’s car for a $20 hit of crack cocaine. He was charged with falsely reporting a crime.

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AN OFFICER was patrolling downtown Atlanta on foot. At the intersection of Broad Street and Trinity Avenue, a man in a red shirt walked up to the officer and said there may be a warrant for his arrest. He asked the officer to please run a computer check and find out, so he could know. The officer ran a computer check, which revealed that the man was wanted in DeKalb County for larceny. The man was taken to DeKalb County Jail without incident.

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TWO OFFICERS were patrolling Peachtree Street when they saw a man crossing the street without using the crosswalk. One of the officers asked, “Why are you doing this?” The man reached behind his back and pretended to pull out a gun. Then, he simulated pulling the trigger, aiming at the two officers. The man, age 20, was arrested for disorderly conduct.

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A MAN walked into a grocery store on Donald Lee Hollowell Parkway. He grabbed a gallon of milk and proceeded to drink it. When he was done, he walked out of the store. At the time of report, police hadn’t found him.

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lauren.keating@creativeloafing.com

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Items in The Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.