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The Blotter September 27 2006

Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports

A WOMAN was taking down illegal signs at a business on Peachtree Road. The pink-and-black signs read: “Cherish do it to it out now.” Then, two men walked up and asked the woman if she owned the business. Then, the men pushed her and put the signs back up. The men told her to go fuck herself. Then, they got in a black Yukon and drove away. Both men wore brown boots.

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A WOMAN CALLED POLICE about a man trespassing on the patio of her condo on Chaumont Square. An officer arrived and talked to the man, who said he’s the foreman for the grounds on the golf course at the condo complex. He said he noticed that the woman’s back patio was open, so he went there to get a bucket. He said he took a bucket so he could fill it with water and put out a fire on his lawn vehicle. He said if he didn’t put out the fire, the vehicle would have exploded because it contained 15 gallons of hydraulic fuel and 15 gallons of gas. He did manage to put the fire out.

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After hearing the man’s explanation, the police officer asked the woman if she still wanted to press charges. “Yes,” the woman answered. So the man was arrested for trespassing and taken to jail.

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ACCORDING TO AN OFFICER’S REPORT, two employees at a shelter on Ellis Street said a woman who eats there made threats against the president of the United States. So the employees contacted the Secret Service.

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After that, the employees say, the woman sent them two threatening letters. The letters are several pages long and say that one employee is molesting his 2-year-old adopted child. The letters state, “I do not play games!” The employees filed a police report. They haven’t seen the woman in several days.

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AROUND MIDNIGHT, two officers were patrolling Grant Park. A man was sleeping on a park bench, surrounded by garbage on all sides. The officers woke him up. The man started yelling that he is the president. Police handcuffed the man and told him that he was under arrest for using the park after hours. The man kept yelling. One officer asked if any of the garbage near the man was his personal property, and would he like police to bring it along. “Just take me to jail,” the man replied. “Fuck off.” The officers complied and took the man to jail.

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LAST JANUARY, a 25-year-old woman was hired as a dance instructor at a dance school on Buford Highway. Six months later, she told the school’s owners that she had stage-four ovarian cancer. The owners sent letters to the woman’s friends, business associates and parents of the dance students, making them aware of the woman’s battle with cancer. Well-wishers sent money and gifts to the 25-year-old. The owners of the dance school gave her two checks totaling $3,300. They estimate that she got at least $5,000 in money and gifts.

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In August, the 25-year-old said she was having surgery at Piedmont Hospital. Turns out, she wasn’t at the hospital at all — and the owners got suspicious. They confronted the woman, and one day later she confessed to the hoax. The owners filed a police report for the woman’s arrest for theft by deception.

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AROUND 1:30 A.M., a 21-year-old man was hanging out at a nightclub on North Avenue. He said a man with a shaved head and wearing all black walked up to him. The man with the shaved head grabbed his shoulder and said, “My friend hates you.” Then, he head-butted the 21-year-old, cutting his lip. The 21-year-old said he doesn’t know the identity of the man with the shaved head. He was gone when police arrived.

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TWO GEORGIA TECH STUDENTS moved into a house on Hemphill Avenue. One day, they left the house and saw a desk sitting on the curb next door. The students said they believed the desk had been abandoned or thrown away. The students rummaged through the desk drawers and found $3,800 in cash, plus some checks and deposit slips. The students called police and turned in the money. A police officer tried to call the man who is listed on the checks, but his phone is disconnected. The police officer left a note on the door and talked to the neighbors, but no one knew the man or where he lived.

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A MIDDLE-AGED MAN called 911 and said he’d been robbed and he knew where the suspects were right then. A police officer met the man in front of a middle school on Sylvan Road. Then, the man’s story changed: Now, he said, he hadn’t been robbed. Instead, he said, he’d tried to buy crack cocaine at a house down the street, but two men in the house took his money and didn’t give him any crack. So, the man explained, he wanted the police officer to go inside the house and lock up the “dope boys” and get his money back. The police officer arrested the man for false report of a crime. Then, the man wanted to change his story and said he was robbed at gunpoint. He went to jail.

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A REDHEADED WOMAN wearing white shoes walked up to an undercover officer. The redhead said she needed money for some new shoes. The officer asked if they could have some fun together. The woman said, “If you’re not the police, I’ll give you a blowjob for $20.” She was arrested for solicitation.

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Items in The Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.






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