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The Blotter October 25 2006

Bizarre crimes from Atlanta police reports

IN WOODRUFF PARK, a homeless man told police that he'd swallowed some rat poison and needed an ambulance, so an officer called Grady Memorial Hospital. When a Grady ambulance arrived, the homeless man said he wanted to go to Piedmont Hospital instead. The medic said the homeless man had to go to Grady because of his mental state. The homeless man got mad and walked away. The medic said he had orders from a doctor to take the homeless man to Grady. So the officer told the homeless man to put his hands behind his back. The homeless man refused and tried to fight the officer. So the officer doused the homeless man with pepper spray, arrested him and took him to Grady Hospital.

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AN OFFICER responded to a call about a person prowling on Whitefoord Avenue. The caller said he saw a man wearing all black wandering in his neighbor's yard. The caller said he last saw the man three houses north of his neighbor's house. So the officer walked there and saw a man fitting that description. The officer watched as the man walked around the yard, picking up items and pocketing them. A large candle in a glass container was sticking out of the man's pocket. The officer asked, "Who does the candle belong to?" The man replied, "Ms. Deborah said I could have it."

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The homeowner walked outside and said, "Officer, get this man away from my house. I've told him dozens of times not to come around here."

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The officer asked, "Did you give this man a candle?" The homeowner said, "No, he stole that!"

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The officer tried to arrest the man, who struggled hard. The officer used the man's arm as leverage to bend him over an embankment separating the yard and sidewalk. Eventually, the officer handcuffed him.

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Then the officer took him back to the caller's neighbor's house on Whitefoord Avenue. The officer wrote, "I saw that an ad for an adult video store was somehow pasted to the front porch, and there was additional trash on the steps. I woke up the homeowner, who told me that he certainly did not put that there. The rest of the adult section of Creative Loafing was in the arrestee's pocket."

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The man, age 52, went to jail. But a nurse there said the man may have a broken arm. So the man was taken to a hospital instead. His belongings were turned in to police property. They included a fanny pack, the adult section of Creative Loafing and a Bible.

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A 23-YEAR-OLD WOMAN said her former boss (a magazine owner) walked out of his business on Antone Street and threatened to slap the shit out of her. According to the 23-year-old, the magazine owner said if she wanted the money he owed her, she could sue him like everyone else. The magazine owner, a man in his 30s, was gone when police arrived.

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AROUND 7:30 A.M., an officer was inspecting his patrol car. He found a bunch of stuff in the trunk that didn't belong to him. Items included a Minute Maid lemonade and fruit punch, one package of cheddar cheese, one tub of margarine, a Birds Eye garlic chicken, a steak, some ground beef, pork chops and four Yoplait yogurts. Since the items are perishable, they weren't accepted at the police property room.

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A WOMAN EXPOSED HER BREASTS to passing cars on Pryor Road. An officer stopped her and arrested her for public indecency. The woman, 40, started acting demented. She slammed her head into the ground and rolled around, bruising her head and knee. An officer called an ambulance to treat her before taking her to jail.

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AROUND 8 in the morning, a man heard some dragging or scraping noises coming from the driveway of his house. He looked outside and saw some guys stealing his car from his own driveway. He said his car was on a dolly attached to a van, which was pulling his car away. A stolen vehicle report was filed.

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AT THE EDGEWOOD SHOPPING DISTRICT, an officer saw a man in a button-down shirt walk over to the patio of a coffeehouse. The man stacked up four chairs and put them on his head and walked away. The officer asked, "What are you doing with those chairs?" The man said he wanted them, so he just took them. The man, 55, went to jail. The chairs were returned to the coffeehouse.

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ON PEACHTREE STREET, a 26-year-old woman said she got into a fight with a woman wearing gold clogs. She said she asked the woman in gold clogs why she didn't tell her that her ex-boyfriend was back in jail. The woman in gold clogs said, "Fuck you both." According to the 26-year-old, the woman in gold clogs then spit on her and hit her three or four times with her shoe. (The woman in gold clogs is a bail bondsman.) She was gone when police showed up.

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Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.





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