The Blotter: Tit for tat

A young woman recently decided to show off her boobies on the dance floor at a local gay bar. A cop standing nearby reported that the 21-year-old North Carolina woman “lifted up her small T-shirt that she was wearing and exposed her breasts and took the hands of an unknown male that she was dancing with and placed his hands on her exposed breasts.” The cop walked over and informed the bouncing-bosom dancer that this “kind of misconduct is not acceptable and unlawful. I then asked her to leave the club because she appeared very intoxicated.” The officer walked her to the bar’s front entrance and just when she was almost out the door, the woman allegedly reared back and punched the cop’s wrist. Stunned, the cop handcuffed her. “She suggested that I let her go home because she only hit me because she had been drinking,” the cop noted. Instead, the cop took her straight to jail on a disorderly conduct charge.

Bare-chested brouhaha

A shirtless Miami man went berserk inside the bus terminal in Downtown Atlanta. According to the police report, when cops arrived, the man “had blood pouring down his face” and he was screaming profanities as he wrestled with the terminal’s security guards. Apparently the confrontation started earlier, when the Miami guy strolled bare-chested through the bus terminal. Guards said they ordered him to put on his shirt or leave immediately — he refused.

The Miami guy had a different story: He said he enjoyed several drinks at a nearby Atlanta strip club and simply came into the bus terminal to change his shirt. As cops interviewed him, the Miami man repeatedly insulted random people. The man yelled “ugly” at several female bus passengers walking by and called a security guard “fat.” He threatened to return and fight the guards when he’s released from jail.

Bra breakdown

On Ponce de Leon Avenue, a cop spotted a 25-year-old woman sitting in front a gas station “with her breast exposed.” The cop approached her for a chat. “She stated that she did not know that her breast was hanging out of her shirt,” the cop noted. The cop did not believe her one-boob-went-rogue story. She went to jail for indecent exposure.

Finale with flourish

In Midtown, a 23-year-old man was fired from his job at a local cafe. Apparently, he didn’t take it well. According to the cafe manager, the man allegedly poured a large cup of water all over the cash register and claimed that it was just an accident. The man reportedly refused to leave the cafe — until security guards escorted him out. A short time later, the manager found two cafe uniform shirts all cut up, a Coke Zero syrup bag punctured and leaking, and about $230 cash missing from a deposit bag.

Roommate rage

In Piedmont Heights, cops responded to an “embellished story” dispute between two guys who have lived together on-and-off for 12 years. The caller said he has epilepsy, and he and his roommate were arguing when he had an epileptic episode and fell into the shower’s glass door. A cop arrived and asked the man if he was hurt. The man said he was not hurt. Just to make sure, the cop looked the man over. “Other than an unhealthy-looking big toe, I did not observe any visible injuries,” the cop noted, adding that the guy rambled and “did not make much sense.”

The other roommate “was very cooperative and calm and quick to provide information,” the cop wrote. The roommate said they are good friends, but their relationship had recently deteriorated and just a few hours earlier he had announced that he is moving out at the end of the month. That’s when epileptic man became upset and called police.

The cop attempted to have a second conversation with the epileptic man to clarify why he called police, but it got weird fast. The epileptic man call the cop a “skinny bitch,’” the cop noted. “Also he said I ‘needed to eat a sandwich’ and began making ‘Hail Hitler Nazi salute motions.’”

Both roommates agreed to leave for the night. No one was arrested.

Cleaned out

A 48-year-old man was asleep in his apartment near Fort McPherson. He woke up to find a strange man was standing over his bed. The 48-year-old man leaped out of bed and grabbed his baseball bat. He tried and failed to catch the stranger, who sprinted out the back door.

Apparently, the stranger wasn’t interested in the man’s TV, wallet, or cell phone. The only items stolen were a bottle of Tide, some Off oven cleaner, six rolls of toilet paper, trash bags, and a bottle of Fabuloso. The 48-year-old said his girlfriend recently bought the cleaning items so he could scrub down his apartment before he moved out.

Apparently, the thief went to some effort to steal the cleaning supplies. The suspect reportedly removed a window screen, raised a kitchen window, put his arm thru the window, and unlocked the back door.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.