The Blotter: Too much pixie dust?

Three guys in their 20s had a very large and loud party at their home near downtown Atlanta. At least a hundred partiers were rollicking when police shut down the blowout bash.

Apparently, one of the three male roommates got lucky. A gal nicknamed “Tinker Bell” spent the night in his bedroom. Tinker Bell has a lot of tattoos, and she was all dolled up in an orange sweater and jeans. The next afternoon, the guys woke up hungover and they gabbed with Tinker Bell until about 3 p.m., when all three male roommates departed to go to church, leaving Tinker Bell in the house all alone.

After church, they hit up the bars and partied until the wee hours, returning home at 5 a.m. Tinker Bell was still there. Suddenly, the three guys freaked out because they believed Tinker Bell stole one roommate’s car, so they kicked her out. Minutes later, the guys realized $600 cash was missing from another roommate’s bedroom. They called police and said Tinker Bell is the culprit because she was the only one in the house at the time.

A cop showed up (the same cop from the party). He listened to the three drunk guys explain how Tinker Bell took their car. The cop pointed out a flaw in their logic: The car was sitting in the backyard, engine cold.

The officer noted, “As I continued to ask more questions, their story made less and less sense.” The guys said the car was there when they left for church and it was there when they returned at 5 a.m. The officer asked: So if the car was here when you left and here when you got back, how do you know Tinker Bell took it? One guy said he found the car keys in the ignition and his roommate would never leave keys in the ignition, therefore Tinker Bell took the car, returned it, and left the keys there. Oh, OK.

The guys pointed in a northeasterly direction and said Tinker Bell left that way. “I searched for Tinker Bell, but was unable to locate her,” the officer wrote.

ANGER MANAGEMENT: On Boulevard, a man wearing a hat adorned with dangling fish hooks was pacing up and down the street “waving his hands in the air,” an officer noted. “He went and grabbed onto the Wrong Way Do Not Enter street sign, pulling it up and down and actually damaging the sign so that it’s now upside down.” The cop asked the man if everything was OK. The man said he was upset because a friend touched some of his belongings and “he did not want to hit his friend and so he was taking his anger out on the sign,” the officer wrote. The man himself went to jail on a disorderly conduct charge. His hat with fish hooks was turned in to police property.

WIZZMASTER: On Roswell Road in North Buckhead, a cop was working an extra security job at a watering hole known as an oldie-goldie hookup bar. Around 2:45 a.m., the cop was sitting in his personal car (not his patrol car) when a young guy in his 20s walked up behind him. The man “stopped and stood behind my vehicle. I could tell he was very unsteady on his feet and was about to fall,” the cop wrote. “I got out and walked to the back of my vehicle and observed [the man] urinating on my back bumper. He was extremely intoxicated and slurring his words, but I could understand him when he looked up and saw me, saying, ‘Oh shit!’” The 22-year-old man’s eyes got wide when he realized he just pissed on an officer’s car. He got a ticket for urinating in public. The cop showed some mercy and sent the 22-year-old man home instead of jail — since he lives about two blocks away.

PISSED ABOUT THE PEPPERONI? At a Buckhead pizza parlor, a random guy suddenly sprayed a fire extinguisher, leaving yellow dust all over the tables and floors. (It was around 11 p.m. on a Saturday.) Pizza employees have no idea who the sprayer is or why he got rowdy. The guy got away with it. Nothing else was damaged.

STATUE OF LIMITATIONS: In East Atlanta, an 80-year-old man was relaxing in his home one morning, when a group of guys and gals in their early 20s knocked on his door and asked if he wanted to buy a security sign for his front yard. (Just security signs. They were not selling actual security services.) No thanks, the old man replied. The guys and gals all piled in and out of a white van and solicited most of the homes on the old man’s street. A few hours later, the 80-year-old man glanced at his front yard and realized something very special was missing: his antique statue of a young man holding a lantern (worth $1,500). He believes a member of the twentysomething group returned and stole his prized statue. C’mon people, let’s play nice and return the man’s statue — it means a lot to him.

SOUND EFFECTS: In Ormewood Park, a 34-year-old woman was fast asleep in her upstairs bedroom when a loud thumping noise suddenly rattled her awake around midnight. The woman turned on her bedroom lights and the thumping noise stopped. A few minutes later, she turned off her bedroom lights and the thumping noise started again. Freaked out, the woman got into her car and drove over to a friend’s house and called 911. Eventually, with a police escort, the woman went back to her home. Cops looked around, but no one was there. Apparently, the thumping noise damaged the frame of the woman’s basement door and her balcony door. Police dusted for fingerprints — nothing. The thumping noise remains a mystery.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.