The Blotter: Viper room

The Blotter

Cops got a tip about a burglary in progress at an abandoned school in Lakewood Heights. Witnesses said three men stole the school's light fixtures and loaded them into a red truck. One witness got the truck's license plate number. Cops ran a computer check, which revealed that the red truck is registered to a guy who lives about 1.5 miles way on Meldon Avenue. Cops went to the address and arrested two men folding light fixtures next to a red Ford Ranger. Then they went inside to chat with the truck's owner, a 55-year-old man.

The truck's owner denied any involvement with school robbery. The man said he let a guy called "Snake" borrow his red truck. Cops asked if they could look around his house to see if the third suspect might be hiding inside. Sure, he said. During the sweep, cops found a clear glass jar filled with suspected marijuana on a dresser next to the man's bed. And not just a little smidge of pot — almost half an ounce. A cop picked up the glass jar and asked: What's the green stuff in there? The man said he couldn't remember what it's called, but he smokes it. Perhaps jail time might refresh his memory. Now he's facing a drug charge.

DOOFUS COP: An officer stopped to get some gas for his patrol car at a government-run gas station on Hill Street. "Upon completing the fill up, I drove away with the hose to Pump #2 in the vehicle's fuel tank," the officer wrote. The hose detached from the pump at its base and sailed along, still attached to the patrol car. Ouch. The cop realized the hose was flying beside him so he backed up to the gas station. A city employee helped him reconnect the hose to the pump.

YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK: At Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport, an officer spotted a taxi driver with "his shirt completely out of his pants" — and that wasn't his only fashion violation. "I also noticed that the driver had sandals on his feet that exposed his toes." The cabbie was dropping off an airport passenger around 6 in the morning. The cop walked up to the cabbie and demanded: Why isn't your shirt tucked in and why are you wearing sandals?

According to the officer, "His response was that he is a Muslim and he just got through praying and Ala just blessed him with a trip to the Airport." (And yes, the cop spelled Allah wrong.)

The cop noted: "I told him that he was in dress code violation despite his religious belief." The 52-year-old cabbie is charged with "driver not properly dressed appropriately while on duty."

AMERICAN EXCESS: In South Buckhead, a man parked his luxury SUV and went into a super-fancy 8,000-square-foot restaurant. When he left about 1.5 hours later, his black SUV was missing from the parking lot. The man called police and reported his GMC Yukon Denali stolen. His fancy six-seater SUV might be easy to identify: There are four mounted custom TVs inside. One TV in the radio/dash area; two mounted TVs in seat headrests, for the passengers in the back seat; and the final TV, slightly smaller, that lowers from the SUV's inside roof and moves around. A different channel for each of the driver's friends! Police have no suspects.

NOT-SO-STRANGER DANGER: In Northwest Atlanta, a 30-year-old woman was sitting in her living room when someone banged on her front door and the doorknob wiggled. Startled, the woman raced to her bedroom and called 911. Suddenly, a loud banging erupted on her bedroom wall. The 911 dispatcher told the woman to hide in her bedroom closet. The woman dove into the closet and shut the door. She said she heard another loud bang and faintly saw two men inside her apartment, but she couldn't see the men clearly enough to describe them. Cops rushed to the scene and searched her apartment and the adjacent apartments. They found several holes in the ceiling and her bedroom wall, where "the suspects came through."

Nothing was missing from the apartment. Apparently, the guys broke in and just wandered around.

The woman's next move is odd. She told cops she believes her boyfriend is one of the guys who broke into her apartment. But she's not 100 percent sure, so she refused to give police any info on her boyfriend (like his name). Lady, if your story is remotely true, you need to dump the boyfriend and move. Right now.

ON EDGE: In Peoplestown, a 26-year-old woman said she got into a long argument with her male roommate because she refused to take the roommate's friend to buy drugs. Thirteen — 13! — hours after the argument started, the woman finally fell asleep on the couch. When she woke up, she freaked because the roommate was holding a machete about six feet away from her. "Call whoever you want to because I am going to stick you with this machete," he yelled. Apparently, it was an empty threat — he didn't move with the machete. The woman got up, raced downstairs, and called 911. Fifteen minutes later, cops arrested her roommate.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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