Bad Habits - Geeked - January 11 2006

1/2The universe is vast and, when you think about it objectively, it seems pretty likely that it’s only a matter of time before humanity is attacked by a race of slimy, green, betenticled aliens intent on eating our skeletons. Videogame developers seem particularly concerned about the possibility, and many of the industry’s most popular titles and franchises put players in the role of Earth’s defenders. Not Destroy All Humans! though. Hell, no. This new title from the twisted minds at Pandemic Studios isn’t about saving humanity; it’s about wiping out as many of the stupid monkeys as you possibly can.In this ’50s-era B-grade science fiction-themed third-person shooter, you take on the role of Crypto Sporidium 137, a pint-sized, gray-skinned Furon tasked with harvesting ancient Furon DNA from the brain stems of unsuspecting humans. The fact that this harvesting process leaves the “donor” humans somewhat less than alive is A-OK with Crypto, who makes up what he lacks in physical stature with an extra dose of bloodthirsty attitude. The relish with which he wields his ray gun, his disintegrator beam and his anal probe (a device that, when used at its maximum setting, makes humans’ brains literally explode through the tops of their skulls) is almost indescribable. But it can be explained, perhaps, by the fact that Crypto’s clone-mate, Crypto Sporidium 136, is missing and presumed dead after undertaking the very mission that Crypto has been sent to complete.

If this all sounds a little insane, well, it is. And that’s the joy of this title. The folks at Pandemic have done a fantastic job of capturing the campy feel of the ’50s sci-fi flick - think Tim Burton’s Mars Attacks, but played from the point of view of the Martians.

But where Destroy All Humans! succeeds with its look and feel, it falls somewhat short with its gameplay. Truth be told, the game’s mechanics become fairly repetitive after the first hour or so, and even with a slew of mental powers added to the sheer destructive force of Crypto’s Furon weaponry, combat becomes fairly ho-hum. What’s worse, Destroy All Humans! finishes up in only about eight hours. Sure, you can go back to any particular level and explore around as much as you want, but after you’ve completed each level’s main mission - all of which are hilariously funny - you don’t have much reason to explore the rest of the map.

Each level does have a number of mini-games to keep you occupied, but since they basically boil down to one of two types - either a timed race or a mission to kill a specified number of farmers, soldiers, etc. - even these mini-games quickly lose their appeal.

Don’t let all my complaining fool you, though. Despite its negatives, Destroy All Humans! is well worth playing. The graphics, while not the most impressive in the business, give the game the perfect look; the hilarious voice acting and the game’s musical score are superb; and the plot is - you’ll just have to forgive me for this - simply out of this world. So the trick to truly enjoying Destroy All Humans! boils down to this: Save yourself the $50 bucks and just make this one a rental.

geeked@creativeloafing.comWHAT’S COOL: A hilarious story line; fantastic voice acting; the ability to anal probe people to death.

WHAT’S UNCOOL: Gameplay becomes repetitive fairly quickly, and doesn’t provide much challenge beyond the early levels; only takes around eight hours to complete.??