Bad Habits - Puppy love - August 24 2005

Nintendogs is ruff, not rough, on heavy petting

Electronic pets have become a popular pastime for quite a few people, especially in Japan where video game versions of pet chickens, cats and even daughters fill the nurturing need of those who live in spaces too tight for little heartbeats.

??
I can see the appeal now that I’ve played Nintendo’s fake-puppy title, Nintendogs, on the handheld DS game machine. It’s somewhat fascinating that I have to call the dog’s name into the DS’s microphone, and it memorizes my voice and commands, then behaves correctly.

??
But my two real cats, Jazzmine and Josie, hear me talking to this faux puppy — “Sarina, come here. Sit. Who’s your daddy?” — and they start meowing all over me. I try to explain to them I’m busy playing with an electronic sheltie, but they never pay attention. This is distracting for me. It’s confusing and possibly even causing jealousy for them.

??
To be honest, I’d rather pet my cats than use the DS’s touch screen to rub and brush Sarina. Besides, they’re less maintenance. I have to take Sarina for walks. She tinkles. I have to curb and bathe her. I train her to catch Frisbees in competition and to obey me during agility and obedience contests. This puppy’s a handful of chores.

??
Actually, it would be more fun if I could enter her in competitions more often, but she’s allowed to participate only three times a day. And each of these days is in real time — kept on a real-life 24-hour clock — which means I must feed her and give her virtual bottled water regularly or else she’ll expire.

??
Right, bottled water. For my pet dog. Not to sound like a geezer, but what has this world come to?

??
On the other hand, it takes me three minutes a day to feed and pour tap water for Jazzmine and Josie and to scoop their litter box. Besides, my real pets are more interactive than an interactive pet simulation.

??
That said, I have to hand it to the DS for making the best of the electronic-dog situation. The puppies I buy — and not from the Humane Society — look and act fairly realistically. When I rub their ears, they ghost-scratch. They stay oh-so-cute forever; the game won’t let Sarina bat mitzvah into maturity.

??
Then again, it’s not so much a game as an endurance test. When I want Sarina to play, sometimes she’d rather lounge. She’ll bark as if I should play tennis-ball with her in the house, but she’s too sleepy to chase it. When my cats get lazy like that, I don’t have to continue to hold a Nintendo in my hands and keep track of their lethargy.

??
So I’m giving Nintendogs a good review for its skills as an appeal-getter for fans of electronic-pet sitters. But don’t buy it if you’re into full-on gaming. I think I’ll retire Sarina. I hope she doesn’t starve to death without me. Oh, the guilt.

??
thegamedork@creativeloafing.com

??
Doug Elfman is an award-winning columnist who lives and writes in Chicago.

??
New To You — Used Game Of The Week

??
Super Monkey Ball Deluxe is an unusually fun multiplayer game with tons of goofy games — more than 300 stages of silly boxing and much-less conventional levels — that has roped me in for hours of player vs. player action.

??
It can be found online and in used-game stores for $15 or less, and it’s available for Xbox and PS2. It’s rated “E 6+” for violence. Other fine versions of the game exist for GameCube in the used market for mere dollars, as well.