Karma Cleanser - July 25 2001

Is it so wrong to break into my ex's e-mail?

Karma Cleanser:
I work in a tattoo shop and we get lots of customers who want stupid stuff like Japanese characters. A co-worker drew up a fake kanji for the fun of it and posted it on the wall. Months later, someone came in and decided they wanted it. I jumped at the opportunity to actually do it, not informing the customer it didn't mean what it said it meant. I didn't feel bad until I saw how much pain he was in during the tattoo.

Lots of bad stuff has happened since that incident, like today I backed into someone else's car in a parking lot. Is it bad karma coming back to me?

-- Feeling like a Prick

The thought of a counterfeit kanji carved permanently on some poor scrub's bicep makes us chuckle, again proving our credo of "Think before you ink." Regardless, it's bad karma that explains your accident and — dare we suggest — the worst is yet to come. The universe will continue to needle you until this debt of pain is repaid.

Karma Cleanser:
I have an ex-boyfriend with whom I'm still good friends. Neither of us has been seeing anyone, but I know that he's using an online dating service to meet people. Well, I found out his password, logged on and deleted letters from girls who'd written him. Do you think this will bite me in the ass one day? He'll never find out, but do you think karma will nix a potential relationship for me somehow?

-- Little Miss Meddlesome

Let's not get into the horrible cosmic consequences you're going to suffer for sabotaging someone's love life. Instead, let's talk about one of the Karma Cleanser's favorite words: "Stalker." Late-'90s slang has stripped the word of its darker roots, but you're the reason the moniker has slipped into the vernacular. We say diffuse this dot-bomb and move on to your next victim.

Karma Cleanser wants the dirt on your lowdown college doings. We need stories about wronged roommates, regrettable keg incidents and such for our College Survival Guide. Send entries to karma@creativeloafing.com. We promise not to tell your parents.??

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