Karma Cleanser - August 01 2001

Karma Cleanser:
I was in a situation that involved my being intimate with a girl I thought was just a friend (I had never been with another woman). As it turned out, she didn’t want to be my friend at all, she wanted a girlfriend.

When I rejected her after I realized we would never really be friends, she tried or maybe succeeded in sleeping with a guy I really loved. So when the guy she lived with came on to me, I “did” him, and we had a probably year-and-a-half long tryst. My question is, on the karma scale, how heavily does that weigh?

-- Chicks scare me

We’d give you a four on the karma scale, an eight on the dysfunctional-hook-up scale, a seven on the revenge-is-never-sweet scale and a 10 on the time-to-get-new-friends scale.

Karma Cleanser:
This happened about four years ago. Darby was a girl we went to college with. Her parents had a really nice beach house in Florida and four of us (me, my old boyfriend, a friend and her boyfriend) were down there for spring break. She gave us the keys and said that we could spend the night.

We all had way too much to drink and my cigarette caught the couch on fire. At that moment, I did not have the energy nor was I in the mental state to panic, so I just flipped the cushion over like there was nothing wrong. To this day I never told Darby or anyone else but I totally ruined the couch. Too much time has passed to actually fess up to my accident — but I feel really bad.

-- Hot seat

What couch in America doesn’t have a big black hole, red wine splotch or doggy pee stain silently concealed under one cushion? Sure, you should have confessed, but by this point we say make like Al Gore and forget Florida.

Karma Cleanser wants the dirt on your lowdown college doings. We need stories about wronged roommates, regrettable keg incidents and such for our College Survival Guide. Send entries to karma@creativeloafing.com. We promise not to tell your parents.??