Karma Cleanser - December 19 2001

About a year ago, due to some bad decisions on my part, I found myself forced to move in with my sister. We usually get along OK but there are occasional rough spots in our relationship. Overall, though, the roommate situation has worked out all right. Except for one thing: She hates my cat. She’s a dog person, and her overgrown mutt gets along better with my kitty than she does. We’ve gone a few months with no major cat/dog fights, but I worry that one is about to explode. Last week, my sister pulled out our mom’s old antique Christmas ornaments and decorated the whole apartment like an over-the-top window of JC Penney. Anyway, the shiny ornaments were irresistible to my kitty, who soon managed to break not one but three of the antique decorations. When my sister got home she was pissed to find these so-called family “heirlooms” missing from the tree, and asked me what happened. I lied and said her beloved puppy had bumped into the tree and broken the bulbs. She didn’t question my story. But now, I’m feeling like a real grinch for lying to her, even though the ornaments were ugly. I worry that if I tell her, she’ll make me and the cat move out. Do bad deeds around the holidays rack up extra bad karma points?

-- Naughty kitty

Bad deeds know no season. Whether it’s Christmas time, Kwanzaa, Festivus or Arbor Day, your sis deserves to know that her pooch has been wrongfully accused. Lucky for you, the holidays are about family, so we doubt you’ll get kicked out in the snow. You do deserve some coal in your stocking, though, for lying.

Karma Cleanser:
OK, here’s my dilemma: A co-worker of mine has a tendency to watch movies on the job. (We’re computer engineers; he watches them on his PC). From a personal perspective, the guy is pretty cool, but from a work/business perspective, he’s an utter waste of desk space. He is constantly goofing off, spreading a non-professional attitude and screwing things up. This guy talks to me like he’s my buddy, but all he does is disrespect his co-workers by making us pick up the slack while he’s goofing off. I’m currently involved in a plot with some other workers to get the guy fired. He’s been reprimanded in the past, but no corrective action has been taken. I feel like a backstabber, but I’ve also got legitimate reasons for getting him ousted. Does this constitute bad karma, and if so, what do I do for retribution?

-- Work ethics anonymous

Office politics is a dangerous game, and plots to eliminate slack-ass associates have a sneaky way of backfiring. You don’t have to be the instrument of his downfall; unlike in the movies, sloth rarely wins in the real world. Sit back and watch as Mr. Moviebuff’s screw-ups lead to an unhappy ending.

Send confessions and questions about how to avoid karmic retribution to karma@creativeloafing.com, or to Karma Cleanser, Creative Loafing, 750 Willoughby Way, Atlanta, Ga. 30312. All entries are anonymous, of course.