Karma Cleanser - January 16 2002

Calling out my easy online friend

There’s a soft drink machine in a dusty corner of my office building that doesn’t get a lot of use. Most people don’t realize that almost without failure the machine gives out two drinks instead of one when you hit the right button. I made this discovery by accident and since then, for the past few weeks, have been getting two colas for the price of one every afternoon.?
?My co-worker (who is real holier-than-thou) found out about this and promptly told me that it was a sin to steal. ?
?I told her to mind her own business. In fact, I’ve started visiting the broken machine twice a day just to piss her off. How bad is that?

-- Two cokes and a smile

The Karma Cleanser doesn’t doubt that the purloined pop is somehow sweeter than cans you’ve paid for. You, however, are being a glutton by shaking the sugar tree too much. Consider your first freebie a gift from the heavens; after that, leave the machine be to make some other caffeine fiend’s day.

Karma Cleanser:
A friend of mine sends me e-mails almost daily from a certain e-mail address. Recently I got a message from him using a different address — with a screen name clearly designed to attract other men for immediate, anonymous sex. He apparently screwed up and mailed me from the wrong account without thinking. ?
?This same friend has told me that he looks down on people who use online services for cheap, tawdry meetings with men. ?
?Am I required to confront him for this apparent hypocrisy?

-- Online or out of line?

The role of a real friend is not to point out their friends’ faults. Accept that your pen pal has an unseen dark side. But the next time he attacks the click-and-trick crowd, casually mention that you know about “HotManMeet4U” and see if you stay on his buddy list.

Send confessions and questions about how to avoid karmic retribution to karma@creativeloafing.com, or to Karma Cleanser, Creative Loafing, 750 Willoughby Way, Atlanta, Ga. 30312. All entries are anonymous, of course.??