Karma Cleanser - January 23 2002

I’m one of those unlucky-in-love types who still believes in impossible dreams like finding a soul mate. Most everyone I know says I’m a fool for thinking like this but I believe in my heart of hearts that everyone belongs to someone, you just have to find that special person. The problem is my special someone never appears. ?
?After my best friend Judy had success with a personal ad, I followed her lead and put in one of my own. I’ve had a better than average response, I think, with one or two guys a week calling who are not nutcases. What I do is arrange a place to meet these guys, usually a coffee shop, and then show up beforehand to see how they look before I introduce myself. The problem is, not one of them so far has been attractive enough for me to go up and talk to. ?
?Judy says I’m creating some really bad karma by getting these guys’ hopes up then not showing myself. I say I’m just being careful. Who’s right?

-- Watching from the wings

There’s a certain risk of rejection inherent to any meeting arranged anonymously, and you’re right to proceed with caution. However, the old adage about nothing ventured also applies in this case. If you’re too shallow not to give a less-than-gorgeous guy a chance, you probably don’t deserve a soul mate anyway.

Karma Cleanser:
Every time I smoke weed, I get really freaky and start to think that my roommate’s been going through my stuff. I’ve started locking my door every time I leave the house, and I’m hardly even talking to the suspect. ?
?The other night my buddies and I were smoking up and one of them asked if I had any playing cards. I went to my bedroom and did not find the cards in their usual spot under my bed. In a rage I went into my roommate’s room and — sure enough — my cards were on his TV. I got really mad and started swearing, but my friends said I was overreacting and that I was just as bad as he is for going into his room when he wasn’t home. What do you think?

-- Don’t touch my stuff

We think that drugs are no fun if they bring out your paranoid asshole side. Consider getting a new, less risky hobby, like macrame, or otherwise look into living alone.

Send confessions and questions about how to avoid karmic retribution to karma@creativeloafing.com, or to Karma Cleanser, Creative Loafing, 750 Willoughby Way, Atlanta, Ga. 30312. All entries are anonymous, of course.??