Karma Cleanser - April 24 2002

I’m tempted to slash the tires of my boss’ environment-wrecking SUV

DEAR KARMA CLEANSER:
I’m afraid that I’m going to do something really bad to my boss, and I need your advice to make sure I don’t do the wrong thing. He’s a good guy and everything, and we work at a place that’s supposed to be progressive and open-minded. Yet he drives one of those ENORMOUS sports utility vehicles, which just totally destroys the environment. He makes the whole company look bad by going out in public in that aircraft carrier. Every day, I’m tempted to throw a rock through his window, or pop his tires with a knife. Knowing all the good it would do — helping the environment and the company’s rep — would it really be a bad thing to fuck up his SUV?

-- Bad Carma

Considering how often we hear from readers contemplating tire-related sabotage, yours must be a particularly prevalent revenge fantasy that (thankfully) often remains just that. Anyway, you’re right to be offended by your boss’s disregard for the spirit of your company. Sadly, this doesn’t excuse crippling the Canyonero. If you feel you have to point out his hypocrisy, certainly there’s a simpler way to do so. Like, how about slapping a Sierra Club sticker on the back of his gas-guzzler?

DEAR KARMA CLEANSER:
I had my car repaired at a local garage specializing in Jaguars. Customer service was absolutely unprofessional and the front desk chick even slipped in a racial slur, waiting for my response. I didn’t indulge her. Over a week later I returned to check on my car to find it basically untouched. They repaired things that I wasn’t even made aware of, until they gave me the bill. This is the only repair shop that I know of that doesn’t take checks. Cash or credit only. Who carries around hundreds of dollars on a daily basis? Along with not having my car for a week I looked at my receipt to find that my parts were $56. Labor cost was $360 more. Isn’t there something wrong with that picture?

-- Blowing a Gasket

First off, the Karma Cleanser is here to right universal wrongs, not to run a consumer whine line. We suggest you call Clark Howard for that. However, we can’t help but giggle at the irony of your situation. A person bright enough to acquire a $50,000 automobile is also gullible enough to trust a rude and racist repair shop so shady that it won’t even take checks? What’s wrong with that picture?

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