Karma Cleanser - July 17 2002

Dear Karma Cleanser:
I have a male friend who has been part of my social group for almost a year. Though I’ve secretly been attracted to him, he has a girlfriend. Recently, he has been inviting me to do things (movies, dinners, picnics) that have not included the rest of our group. In fact, he has started making passes at me (like kissing and massaging). I know this is wrong, but I can’t help myself when he starts to kiss me because I genuinely like him as a person. And he has a great pair of lips!

I feel that this little quasi-romance is wrong and I’m sure his real girlfriend (who he sees every weekend) doesn’t know about it. I’ve had bad boyfriend karma and I don’t know why. This one is different, but perhaps he is just a bad boy in a nice guy package. I find it difficult to date other guys lately when my mind/heart is somewhere else. I’ve never cheated on anyone (yet many of my former boyfriends cheated on me and left me for other people). Is the universe punishing me for kissing this person who I know is already spoken for? What should I do?

-- Kissing Bandit

We don’t see your situation as punishment, per se. Let’s call it “self-flagellation.” By getting smoochy with someone who’s spoken for (and seemingly reluctant to dump her for you), you’re just begging for disappointment. We’re not feeling the connection between this quandary and your previous line of loser boyfriends, though we do question if you acted like a doormat in those relationships as well. The simple answer: Your karma’s probably only slightly bruised at this point. Cut it off with Mr. Dubiously Nice Guy before the situation turns bloody.

br>?Dear Karma Cleanser:
I’ve been a “do-gooder” for 10 years. I used to run through men like toilet paper. Perhaps I broke a lot of hearts along the way. I was young. Now I can’t buy a date. I moved from a big city to the South and all I meet is a bunch of Bubbas. I travel a lot so I get around (no pun intended) but everywhere I go, Bubba seems to follow. How long do I have to pay? I live my life by the law of karma now. When am I going to be able to cash in on my karma chips? I WANT MY CHIPS!

-- Bubba Magnet

Perhaps these so-called “chips” (whatever that means) never materialize due to your own strained outlook. To your thinking, all men seem to be either Bubbas or bathroom tissue, and good deeds call for instant reward. Wrong on both counts. Give the universe time — she works at her own pace.

Been bad? Get right with the universe at karma@creativeloafing.com.