Karma Cleanser - July 24 2002

Dear Karma Cleanser:
Years ago, things were very bad between my wife and myself and I became involved with a co-worker. I became distant to my wife, made excuses that it was because of my workload and started keeping secrets. We eventually divorced and I became involved with a co-worker.?
It is now a number of years later and my girlfriend has recently become distant, makes excuses that our problems are work-related, has been keeping secrets and is generally lying to me. Am I doomed or is there something that I can do to get right with the world for my past behavior?
?-- Searching for answers

We’re confused: Is the current girlfriend also the old co-worker you shacked up with while still married? In either case, this mess reeks of your own bad relationship karma coming back to kick your ass. However, consider your first fuck-up a crash course in how not to run a relationship. Use the lessons of your past to fix the future.

Dear Karma Cleanser:
My significant other (I hate that term, but I think it applies better than “boyfriend” because we’ve been together for three years) took a job in another city and will be moving there shortly. Over the course of this relationship, we have had our good times. The past few months have been mostly bad, though, and I’ve caught myself actively wishing that he would move out or that something would happen, causing him to break up with me. I didn’t want to be the one to end the relationship. ?
?So now, my wish has come true. But suddenly, I’m finding myself wishing that he wouldn’t leave me. He says he wants us to keep dating, but I really don’t think long-distance situations ever work out. Are my mixed feelings about his departure the result of bad karma from my previous wishes that he would just leave? How do I reverse my wish?
-- Careful what you wish for

While reading your letter, the Karma Cleanser happened to be listening to one of the great spiritual muses of the past century, Joni Mitchell, who says it best when she intones: “You don’t know what you got ‘til it’s gone.” Clearly, you’ve been content to stew quietly on the sidelines rather than try to fix this relationship. Now that judgment day has arrived, perhaps it’s time to step back and consider what you really want, and if you’re more afraid of losing him or simply being alone.

Hey college readers: Karma Cleanser wants your confessions. Send stories of wronged roommates, frat-house mishaps and other campus sins to karma@creativeloafing.com.