Karma Cleanser - September 18 2002

Advice for smelly cats

?Dear Karma Cleanser:
I read your advice to "Alone in the South" (Sept. 11), and I could not disagree with you more when you suggested that she just "sit back and see what happens." The young lady in question needs to be proactive in her current situation. It seems to me that she is in a relationship with someone who is a stranger to her, and on top of all that, he is not even in the country.

In her letter, the only thing that seems to be keeping her in the "marriage" is the fact that she's getting a nice paycheck from a man who is putting his life on the line for the country. What she should do is extricate herself from the situation now before she ultimately sleeps with Scott. I'm sure G.I. Joe would much rather deal with a divorce than infidelity, which in turn would probably lead down that path anyway.

b>-- Ann Landers Jr.

We're hoping that "sit back and see what happens" didn't somehow also imply, "Hurry up and screw your co-worker." Perhaps that sentiment got lost somewhere. Anyway, you're right in saying that she needs to extricate herself from the situation. Our point was, give it some time. No need to break the soldier's heart (and stop enjoying those hard-earned greenbacks) if the problem can be solved simply by Rambo's return.

br>?Dear Karma Cleanser:
The elderly lady who lives in the condo next to mine smells bad. She has cats. They shit. A lot. Everywhere. All over the garden shared by our building. Plus, she's not very nice.

Recently, she told me that she has cancer and is about to undergo chemo. I showed concern. Inside, I was thinking, "That's right, you deserve it."

Now I feel bad for reacting that way. I worry that I've invited some not-good karma into my life by being so selfish. I'm really not a bad person. But I do hope that our cat problem goes away. Is that bad?

b>-- Gross Out in the Garden

Wow, your condo association must be slacker than Anna Nicole's personal trainer. Since no one likes cat shit (no one we want to hang out with, anyway), we can't blame you for reacting badly to your neighbor's news. However, you can negate your newly found bad karma by offering to help clean up after her pets. After doing so, be firm but friendly in telling her that the condo's tired of dealing with her crap.

Been bad? What's the cruelest plot you've ever hatched against an unsuspecting enemy? E-mail karma@creativeloafing.com.??