Karma Cleanser - February 12 2003

Dear Karma Cleanser:
My husband has been cheating on me with not just one but several women. I found out his e-mail password and have been looking into it every now and then and deleting out e-mails that they send to him before he sees them. I know this is wrong and I should stop before he finds out, but what else should I do? Help please.

-- Double-crossed

What you’re doing isn’t so much wrong as it is just plain stupid, like fighting a forest fire with a water gun, or Michael Jackson claiming he hasn’t had plastic surgery. It may make you feel better, but you’re not accomplishing anything. Instead, you should stop snooping and go straight to the culprit. Tell Mr. Cyberslut that you’re on to his games and if he doesn’t quit dicking around, then you’re going to delete more than his e-mails.

br>?Dear Karma Cleanser:
I think I have major bad karma. Bad things have been happening to me for the past few weeks. First my car had an oil leak. I got that fixed. Then my brakes went bad, costing me $450. Then the thermostat in my house broke. Then our fridge broke. Today my vacuum broke! Other little things have been breaking around the house lately too. What does this mean and how can I stop it?

-- Break beats

God forbid we come off sounding like some trite Byrds song, but to everything, there is a season, a time for the vacuum to crack and a time for the brakes to, um, break. Unfortunately, this season of malfunction always seems to happen when it’s least convenient, and the gremlins always attack all at once. Unless there’s something you’re not telling us (like that nasty incident when you rolled the nunnery), we don’t think your problem is bad karma. It’s just the natural rhythm of the universe. Turn, turn, turn, blah, blah, blah. The good news is, things will eventually get better.

br>?Dear Karma Cleanser:
You recently counseled “K-9 Karma” (Jan. 29), who worried about using unsolicited address labels from the Humane Society without sending in a donation. I agree with your advice to keep using the labels. However, I would add that by providing a loving home for the dog Muffy, K-9 Karma is in fact already benefiting the Humane Society in perhaps the best possible way. After all, their ultimate goal is the adoption of all dogs and cats by responsible, caring people. -- Animal rights

Been bad? Take a snapshot of your sin and send it to karma@creativeloafing.com.