Karma Cleanser - April 30 2003
?Dear Karma Cleanser:
I live in a small college town, so it can be hard to meet new guys that are intelligent and have their acts together. I was out at a bar recently (because there's not much more to do here other than drink) and was getting somewhat tipsy when I met a nice, cute guy from out of town. He really impressed me but then I did a bad thing: At the end of the night just as we were exchanging numbers, I threw up on him. Not really on him, but near him. Regardless, he called me the next day and we made plans to go on a date. We went to dinner, and then to another bar. While there we ran into my ex-boyfriend, who made a scene and threatened to punch my date in the face. Even still, the new guy was a trooper and agreed to go on a second date with me. It also ended badly, with me again getting drunk and this time passing out in his car. After that, I thought he would not talk to me again but he surprised me and called the next day.
I feel like I'm stirring up some bad karma by repeatedly causing trouble for this nice, sweet person. But it seems like I'm being rewarded rather than punished for my own bad actions. What is going on here?
-- Shame Shame Shame
Remember that old saw about how every person comes into your life for a reason? Well, flip that around and consider this: Maybe you've been dropped into Mr. Nice Guy's life as payback for being a prick in his past relationship. Or maybe you're the lesson he needs to learn about not getting mixed up with drunks with unstable ex-boyfriends. Just a thought. Anyway, don't be naive enough to think that he's going to stick around and put up with your drama. Be proof that good things come to those who wait, not a commercial for the Betty Ford Clinic.
br>?Dear Karma Cleanser:
Your advice to "Out of the shadows" (April 9) sucked. This person was hurting, and you decided to take a cheap jab at him by saying that maybe video rentals aren't that bad. I think you should have taken more time to consider that he had ended up in a less than optimum situation due to some selfish so-called "friends." Having been through a similar and horrible situation before, I know it's not always a matter of personal responsibility.
-- Leggo my Ego
Sheesh — sounds like you've been through some shit. Dare we suggest that just because your situation was similar, that doesn't mean it's the same? Thanks for writing, though.
Been bad? firstname.lastname@example.org.