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Karma Cleanser - May 12 2005

Dear Karma Cleanser:
?I laughed out loud when I read the letter from the guy who parked his Mini too close to the other car. But the same day I read it, I had some bad car karma of my own. A few weeks back, I got hit by a teenage driver. It was not a big deal, no one was hurt (thankfully my toddler was not in the car at the time), but it did leave a big dent in the car's rear right bumper.

The teenage driver was insured, luckily, and when I went to collect a check from his insurance agency, more trouble happened. Namely, my car got hit again in the parking lot. This time it was an elderly lady driving a 1970 Chevy the size of a ship. She looked like she could barely walk let alone drive. Her car left another dent in my back fender, which I had not yet gotten fixed from the first accident.

I guess this is my own bad karma for laughing at the guy with the Mini? If not, what did I do to deserve this?
?— Crash Test Dummy

Let's hope that laughing at a Karma letter didn't lead to your accident - otherwise our loyal readers are screwed! It may not be obvious what led to this string of bumper troubles, but here's a thought on how to end them: Don't turn in the insurance charge on the elderly lady. You need to get the fender replaced, anyway, and it sounds like the old babe could use a break.

Dear Karma Cleanser:
?I know this is going to sound completely outrageous, but I truly have?nowhere else to turn. I am a recent transplant to the South and I have?a terminal illness. When living out West, obtaining medical marijuana?was no problem. The same can't be said for here in this state.?Is there a possibility that you might be able to point me in the right?direction? It would tremendously improve the quality of my life. (I?swear I am not connected to any law enforcement agency.)
?— Smoked Out

Wow, congrats. Just when we thought the Karma Cleanser had been asked?everything, you managed to surprise us with a completely new kind of?question. You get points for creativity, points which you then?immediately lose for actually thinking a newspaper columnist would be?a good source for scoring some smoke. Honestly, we gave up the green?stuff years ago because we feared it was making us lose touch with?reality. Sound familiar?

Karmacleanser@gmail.com