Karma Cleanser - May 12 2005

Dear Karma Cleanser:
?I laughed out loud when I read the letter from the guy who parked his Mini too close to the other car. But the same day I read it, I had some bad car karma of my own. A few weeks back, I got hit by a teenage driver. It was not a big deal, no one was hurt (thankfully my toddler was not in the car at the time), but it did leave a big dent in the car’s rear right bumper.

The teenage driver was insured, luckily, and when I went to collect a check from his insurance agency, more trouble happened. Namely, my car got hit again in the parking lot. This time it was an elderly lady driving a 1970 Chevy the size of a ship. She looked like she could barely walk let alone drive. Her car left another dent in my back fender, which I had not yet gotten fixed from the first accident.

I guess this is my own bad karma for laughing at the guy with the Mini? If not, what did I do to deserve this?
?— Crash Test Dummy

Let’s hope that laughing at a Karma letter didn’t lead to your accident - otherwise our loyal readers are screwed! It may not be obvious what led to this string of bumper troubles, but here’s a thought on how to end them: Don’t turn in the insurance charge on the elderly lady. You need to get the fender replaced, anyway, and it sounds like the old babe could use a break.

Dear Karma Cleanser:
?I know this is going to sound completely outrageous, but I truly have?nowhere else to turn. I am a recent transplant to the South and I have?a terminal illness. When living out West, obtaining medical marijuana?was no problem. The same can’t be said for here in this state.?Is there a possibility that you might be able to point me in the right?direction? It would tremendously improve the quality of my life. (I?swear I am not connected to any law enforcement agency.)
?— Smoked Out

Wow, congrats. Just when we thought the Karma Cleanser had been asked?everything, you managed to surprise us with a completely new kind of?question. You get points for creativity, points which you then?immediately lose for actually thinking a newspaper columnist would be?a good source for scoring some smoke. Honestly, we gave up the green?stuff years ago because we feared it was making us lose touch with?reality. Sound familiar?