Karma Cleanser - November 07 2007

Late dinner date do-over

Dear Karma Cleanser:

I was supposed to meet a friend at a restaurant a couple of weeks back. The friend was someone I went to grad school with but haven’t talked to in many years. We were supposed to meet up at 8 p.m., and I got to the restaurant at about 7:50 p.m. She called me 20 minutes later and said that she was running late. She showed up to the restaurant at 8:30 p.m. By that point, I was pretty upset. She apologized profusely and said she had been held up late at work.

I tried to get over it but I could not let go of my anger. I went ahead and ordered some sushi, but I had lost my appetite. I was icy and distant to her the entire meal. At about 9:15 p.m. she got the hint and said she needed to run. The whole night was a disaster.

The next day, I got sick. Long story short, my doctor thinks I picked up a parasite by eating sushi that night. I can’t help but feel that there’s more going on here than just a parasite. I feel like this is karma coming back because of the way I acted toward my friend. I was really looking forward to meeting up with her – until our evening went to hell.

– Ill Avocado Rolls

It doesn’t take a graduate degree to see what went wrong here: Your internalized anger has been eating at you from the inside. Literally. A simple “I’m mad that you left me hanging” could’ve worked wonders. Get right with the universe – and the wrongfully maligned Sushi Gods – by sending your friend a note explaining your side of the story and asking her for a do-over night.

Dear Karma Cleanser:

Due to the sudden death of my husband, I have been left in a bind. I’m now left to take care of his two kids (they are 8 and 15 years old) even though he did not leave us very much money. I do love the kids as if they were my own. I am just not sure I am cut out to be a parent right now, especially with so little support. I was only married to my husband for less than two years before he died, and so the kids still see me almost as a stranger.

Every day I ask myself, “What did I do to deserve this?” If karma is to blame, how can I fix it?

– 40 and Feeling It

We came close to deleting your letter because the first line sounded like a ubiquitous (and annoying) junk mail message that keeps clogging our in-box. Perhaps you should treat your negative thoughts the same way: Delete them before they suck up any more precious time. Only then can you get on with living and give the kids the present, living parent they deserve.

Been bad? karmacleanser@gmail.com