Karma Cleanser - January 23 2008

Curl up and dye

Dear Karma Cleanser:

I have bad luck when it comes to haircuts. As in phenomenally, exceptionally, excruciatingly bad luck. I've not only had my ear nipped by scissors during a haircut, I've also had a stylist literally quit her job during my appointment. (She'd been arguing with her boss, apparently.)

Knowing my luck, I go into appointments expecting the worst. I found a stylist who seemed to understand that the Fates were out to get me. Recently, I found myself in an emergency situation and had to make an appointment with his co-worker because his calendar was booked. Sure enough, tragedy struck. I was sitting in the chair with my hair halfway done when the power went off. Some construction workers had accidentally killed the power for the whole block.

And so my poor stylist had to finish by candlelight. To make matters worse, my regular guy happened to walk by, and he gave me a look that made me think I was "cheating" on him.

I realize this makes for a funny story, but it's not so much fun for me to have to walk around looking like my head got caught in a blender. She offered to "clean up any loose ends" the next day, but I never went because I didn't want my regular stylist to see me there again. What did I do to deserve this?

– Curl Up and Dye

We're paraphrasing Einstein when we say your problem can't be solved at the same level of thinking with which you created it. You've started to see yourself as a person with "hair issues," and the universe responds by giving you just what you expect: hair issues. Break the cycle by taking a more metaphysical approach to personal grooming. What does your hair mean to you? Is hair the same as self-worth; is it a synonym for acceptance? Until you comprehend how your hair both reveals and obscures your true essence, your 'do will remain a don't.

Dear Karma Cleanser:

(In response to "Fireman in a Blender," Jan. 9): I have been reading Karma Cleanser for a long time now, and I don't think you have ever mentioned Oprah's name before in one of your answers. I am sad to see Ms. Winfrey mentioned in such a flip and offhand manner. The work she has done worldwide is unparalleled. Even if you do not believe in her life philosophy, you should not make light of her.

– O is for Off-Limits

Hold up, when did we make fun of Oprah? Our original response was nothing if not glowing. Besides, we know better than to tangle with Harpo Inc. They've got eyes everywhere!

Been bad? karmacleanser@gmail.com

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