News - Company town

Did you hear the news? Atlanta is up for sale. No, not as a whole, but piecemeal: here a road, there a park, here a stadium, there a building. And just who, you might ask, is eligible to be a buyer? Anyone who can pony up enough greenbacks to buy their own little slice of Southern history. Don’t believe me? Log onto eBay where everything is currently for sale.

And the first item up for bid is: Hartsfield International Airport.

We have an opening bid from Anheuser-Busch of $15 million ... Priceline.com has upped it to $20 million ... Wow, we just got a bid from tobacco giant Philip Morris for $35 million ... Wait a minute, there seems to be some sort of serious ethical problem surrounding this purchase. It seems the City Council can’t determine who will actually benefit financially and have access to any monies from the sale of the airport’s name, therefore bidding will have to be suspended.

On with the auction. Second item up for bid: Piedmont Park.

Third item on the block: the Georgia Dome.

And the fourth is any piece of city property with enough physical space for sponsorship.

Hope I’m kidding? No such luck, according to local news sources, which indicate just such a raffle is pretty much in the works right now. City Council has a few hurdles to clear (wheels to grease), and legality issues to resolve (favors to call in). Then, the bidding wars begin.

Most debate concerning this Sponsorship Sale-O-Thon is focused solely on which city department directly benefits from a sale, and where that money needs to be allocated.

If you still think it can’t happen, remember: This is America, where cashing in by selling out is a major component of the American Dream, just like big cars and baseball.

Fittingly, stadiums are among the first to have scrapped tradition and literally sold their good names. A few examples:

The Taco Bell Fiesta Bowl (and almost every other bowl game)

The Continental Airlines Arena

NetZero at the Half (that’s right, you can purchase a half-time show)

The Delta Center

Turner Field (built by the city of Atlanta for the Olympics)

Ahh, imagine a tourist a few years down the road, landing safely at Home Depot International, riding down Bill Gates Boulevard, attending mass at Ted Turner the Baptist, tossing a Frisbee at Footlocker Park, catching a Falcons game at the Gatorade Dome, visiting the Georgia Power World Congress Center, eating at Underground BellSouth and, finally, marveling at the laser light show at Nokia Mountain.

The possibilities are endless! Almost any government agency can soak up a few extra bucks, especially with all these e-business start-ups. Monsterboard.com Transit Authority, Amazon.com Family and Child Services, Foodbuy.com Department of Education. Even government job titles could be sponsored! Starbucks Chief of Police, General Mills City Councilman, Powertel Mayor.

Of course, none of these corporations will actually own or run these properties — just the “corporate sponsorship.” So the chances of you or I having enough money to outbid any large corporation and get our name on anything — except maybe the street we live on — is pretty slim.

But don’t worry, Atlanta hasn’t forgotten the little guy. That’s right, for a measly 10 grand, anyone can turn the public domain of Centennial Olympic Park into their own private backyard for a day or two (as Microsoft did last week). It’s the perfect idea for a big date. And don’t worry about those other citizens, the self-centered herd who erroneously think they have a right to visit a publicly funded park just because they (or you, or me) pay city taxes or purchased one of the bricks: You can hire your own security to keep them out, or for an extra thousand the city will assign you a couple of its finest from the Atlanta/Fed Ex. Police Department.

Christopher Dowd is a marketing specialist and free-lance writer in Atlanta.