Arts Agenda - Watch what he says

Fresh from a nine-year run as host of ABC’s political talk show “Politically Incorrect,” comedian and writer Bill Maher isn’t done butting heads with the White House just yet.

Though it’s only been a year since one of his comments about the U.S. military inspired White House Press Secretary Ari Fleischer’s chilling (to free speech lovers anyway) warning that people need to “watch what they say,” Maher’s new book and tour prove that, despite criticism, he’s still not afraid to take a critical look at the War on Terror.

CL What’s the show about?

Bill Maher: It goes along with my new book, When You Ride Alone You Ride With bin Laden: What The Government Should Be Telling Us To Help Fight The War On Terrorism. It’s a book of posters that the government should put out about the war on terrorism, the way they used to put out propaganda posters in other wars to tell people what to do.

Explain the book’s title.

It’s a borrow from one of my favorite propaganda posters from the World War II era which shows a guy riding in a convertible next to a ghost outline of Hitler. It’s trying to get people to join a carpooling club to save gas and it says, “When you ride alone, you ride with Hitler.” So I just made it into bin Laden.

If you look at the old posters, you see that the government was unafraid to ask citizens to pitch in, which is completely the opposite of today. President Bush tells us that civilization is at stake and that we’re at war, but apparently it’s a war that we can win so easily that all we have to do to help win it is shop, eat out and travel. They don’t ask you to sacrifice because one of the major things they’d ask you to sacrifice is oil, but it’s oil money that put Bush into office.

There are a lot of posters from World War II that asked citizens to save oil. One of them says, “Should brave men die so you can drive?” Now can you imagine a politician today saying that to people? But it’s even more true today. Now we’re fighting people who are funded by oil money.

The government does link drug use to terrorism though.

Oh, please! Talk about a huge lie. It’s not drugs, it’s oil. The Taliban forbade drugs, because they were puritans. It was our ally, the Northern Alliance, that sold heroin. So if you really wanna help the war effort, start a smack habit.

One of my posters shows an old lady in a cannabis club smoking a joint at the top. On the bottom it shows a woman being stoned to death in Afghanistan. The poster says, “Which stoner are you worried about?” So some of mine are much more subversive than the government would put out, but some of them are ones that any government could put out. The first one in the book has a picture of a forlorn soldier and it says, “What we do here can bring him home sooner.” That’s as true in WWII as it is now.

Speaking of conserving oil, you have an electric car. How is it?

It’s a great little car. It doesn’t need any special attention other than what you’d normally do for a car. It’s got plenty of power, it’s not a little gay go-cart, like some people think.

If you saw Ari Fleischer drowning, would you throw him a life jacket?

Absolutely.

Would you at least try to hit him in the face with it?

No. I have no ill will toward anybody about all that.

I saw a TV special about the parties at the Playboy Mansion and you were featured. How can I get invited to the mansion?

That’s what everyone wants to know. It’s real hard. The best way is to be a hot chick. Guys just can’t go. They shouldn’t even ask. I’m pretty close to Hugh Hefner. We’ve known each other for 10 years. He really likes me. I really like him. But I would never ask him, “Can I bring a guy?” They just don’t like the ratio of guys to girls to be what it is in the real world.

Do the mansion’s party invitations come in opaque plastic wrappers like the magazine?

Yeah. I remove the shrink wrap on the invitation, then I masturbate to it.

Next year is the 20th anniversary of the film D.C. Cab, in which you starred with Mr. T.

Oh my God.

Any memories or funny Mr. T moments that you care to share?

He was huge personality at the time and he was enjoying it. I remember him being either really up or really low key. Maybe he just ate a lot of sugar. He ate McDonald’s every day. One time he came back with somethin’ like five bags of McDonald’s. Someone said, “Wow, that’s a lot of McDonald’s.” He said (Maher speaking in loud Mr. T. voice), “I’m not on welfare anymore. I’m faring well!”

Did he pity the fool in private as well as on screen?

Yes. He certainly did.

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