Redeye August 19 2004

Double AA, triple X: Friday night started innocently enough, with my nuts in a vise grip. I was going to a theme party that requested men dress in black, and my only clean black pants were a bit testicularly challenging. I stopped by 97 Estoria, where patio and PBR have earned the Cabbagetown neighborhood haunt much summer lovin', and my condition garnered a lot of concern from my friends Tyler and Gail. They were so worried about the state of my camel toe, they asked everyone within earshot if they thought my nuts would make it through the night. That certainly helped 'em shrink to a more manageable size.

Taking my bowlegged ass home briefly, to my dismay I found that my companion for the evening had medicated herself a little too much in preparation to brave Buckhead, and was passed out. Unlike at Six Flags, there's no height/weight requirement on the roller coaster of wine, liquor, beer and weed. So, rearranging yet again, I headed to Electra alone.

Electra "retro lounge," its claim to fame being a smoke-free environment with retromodern furnishings and an off-the-beaten-path attitude-free environment, was throwing a bungalow "Bedroom Ball." But it turned out to be more pillow talk than panties + pillow fights. There were a half-dozen women in lingerie — a leggy Jessica Alba-type and Christina Aguilera-type booty were the standouts — but the room was low on romps. I decided to try a martini with Sex vodka (more like dirty sheets vodka) and listened to a woman in thigh highs and a negligee discuss real estate. Sigh.

Things should look up at Electra Thurs., Aug. 19, however, when DJs J-Luv, Kevin O. and Rachael start their Lure monthly. Also of note is the Mark's one-year anniversary party Fri., Aug. 20, featuring J-Luv and Kevin O. again, plus Jonathan Edwards and Johnny Ether. These deep house + retro-pop poundings will offer a sex sheen worth filling the nooks and crannies for. But wear comfortable pants for dancing. My nooks and crannies ended up chaffed Saturday morning.

Saturday night, a co-worker and her friend needed a confidence counselor to brave the sadly frowned upon world of sex shops to buy their first vibrator, so I volunteered to go with them to Starship on Cheshire Bridge Road. But their purchase certainly wasn't a Fisher-Price brand "My First Vibrator." It had some advanced technology, with rotating this, flicking that, pulsing the other. More fun for me, though, was the conversation. Folks who work in a sex shop at night are just waiting for someone other than awkward dudes to come in and liven up their night. So stop by your sex shop one Friday or Saturday and have some fun with the "personal massagers." You'll leave with some stories, I guarantee.

Goes to show, it's possible to get a "buzz" in many ways in many places if you're not afraid to ... poke around.

Keep one RedEye open. And send all comments, questions, observations and invitations to redeye@creativeloafing.com.