Loading...
 

Atlanta's 11 Least Influential 2008

Who are the most influential people on Earth?

George W. Bush could, with the push of a button, flatten any city on Earth.

Saudi Oil Minister Ali al-Naimi could slow output from his kingdom's oil fields and plunge the world into another Great Depression.

Together, Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers could command a screaming tween army of millions mighty enough to overthrow the U.S. government – or at least take over some malls.

But you can read about them anywhere.

And then there's everyone else – the Joe and Josephine Averages who can barely control their own lives, much less the lives of others.

They're the people who are trying, and failing, to make a living during hard times. The people trying, and failing, to keep their neighborhoods tidy. The people who can't even sell a wedge of homemade cheese without prompting a smackdown from government bureaucrats.

Here we celebrate 11 of them – Atlanta's 11 Least Influential. Six were deemed so un-influential that we didn't run them in print (they were banished to our website, below right).

?

THE LIST


? ??

1. Caroline: Unemployed dairy goat

??
?? ??

Caroline has a great spread. Her home, Decimal Place Farm, is a gently rolling 18-acre tract in Cla...

?


? ??
? ??

2. Rex Smith: Can't stop bitchassness

??
?? ??

Rex Smith is fed up with bitchassness. He's so fed up, in fact, the 25-year-old Northside Drive...

?


? ??
? ??

3. Deisha Oliver: Can't play her cello because some jerk sat on her bow and broke it

??
?? ??

Deisha Oliver's cello and bow aren't special by objective standards. "My instrument is...

?


? ??
? ??

4. Jason Pye: Frustrated Randian

??
?? ??

Jason Pye tries to live his life in accordance with his libertarian ideals. He is a devotee of autho...

?


? ??
? ??

5. Rodney Bowman: Can't stop graffiti in his neighborhood

??
?? ??

"Ever since I jumped out of that tree, I've probably covered about 50 graffiti tags.&quot...

?


? ?? ? ??

SO UN-INFLUENTIAL, THEY DIDN'T MAKE IT TO PRINT

Atlanta’s 11 Least Influential People: No. 6
Pat Lanzo can't convince people he's not racist. Atlanta’s 11 Least Influential People: No. 7
Woman can't stop her home from being burglarized. Atlanta’s 11 Least Influential People: No. 8
Georgia Bigfoot Atlanta’s 11 Least Influential People: No. 9
William Tellulater: Can't get sex on Facebook.
Atlanta’s 11 Least Influential People: No. 10
The Bum Bot.
Atlanta’s 11 Least Influential People: No. 11
Joshua Riley can't sell SUVs anymore.

PAST UN-INFLUENCERS


Image 11 Least Influential Atlantans of 2007 Image 11 Least Influential Atlantans of 2006



More By This Writer

Article

Monday July 2, 2012 10:14 am EDT
Fourth of July has devolved into a mindless national block party. Here's what we should do about it. | more...

Article

Wednesday September 7, 2011 04:30 am EDT
Ten years later, a TV terrorpalooza rings hollow | more...

Article

Tuesday September 7, 2010 09:11 am EDT

http://www.flickr.com/photos/andishehnouraee/4966908103/

My favorite foreign policy column cliché of the previous decade is, without a doubt, the Friedman Unit.

It’s a reference to New York Times foreign policy columnist Thomas Friedman. Fair and Accuracy in Reporting noted that, between November 2003 and May 2006, Friedman used some form of the phrase “the next six months is crucial in Iraq”...

| more...

Article

Thursday August 26, 2010 02:42 pm EDT


The last U.S. combat troops left Iraq on August 19. War over. Woohoo!

Take that, you stupid 9/11 terrorists who had absolutely nothing at all to do with Saddam Hussein or Iraq. Boo ya!

No. Wait. Upon further review, it turns out the war isn’t exactly over.

The combat troops are out, but there are still roughly 50,000 non-combat troops in Iraq. Iraq still has the third largest foreign...

| more...

Article

Tuesday August 24, 2010 12:04 am EDT

As someone who had to turn on the closed captioning during The Wire, I totally get this.

The Associated Press:

ATLANTA — Federal agents are seeking to hire Ebonics translators to help interpret wiretapped conversations involving targets of undercover drug investigations.

The Drug Enforcement Administration recently sent memos asking companies that provide translation services to help it find...

| more...
Search for more by Andisheh Nouraee

[Admin link: Atlanta's 11 Least Influential 2008]