Hollywood Product: ‘John Carter’
Andrew Stanton’s spectacular adaptation of Edgar Rice Burroughs’ classic Martian odyssey struggles to buckle its swash.
- Courtesy of Disney
- DEJAH VIEW: Taylor Kitsch and Lynn Collins in ‘John Carter’
GENRE: Old-school sword-and-airship swashbuckler
THE PITCH: Civil War cavalryman turned Arizona prospector John Carter (Taylor Kitsch) finds himself transported to Mars, where he takes up the cause of Martian Princess Dejah Thoris (Lynn Collins, who’s like a classy Megan Fox) against a vicious warlord (Dominic West) secretly manipulated by wizard-like schemers (lead by Mark Strong).
MONEY SHOTS: Apart from a passing resemblance to Delgo, the nine-foot, four-armed Green Martians look pretty cool, and it’s funny when blustering males knock their face-tusks like rams butting horns. Woola, John Carter’s super-fast, super-ugly pet dog-monster steals his every scene. A sacred river is the best of the many breathtaking location shots. John Carter fights a pair of Kong-sized albino apes in a spectacular arena sequence near the end.
FIRST THINGS WORST: Unconfident fantasy epics like this and last year’s Conan the Barbarian frequently start with lousy narration and prologues. John Carter gets off on a particularly bad foot, with Willem Defoe intoning, “You do not know Mars, for its true name is Barsoom!” before a hasty, confusing introduction of the bad guys.