Daddy Needs New Shoes January 14 2007

By Noah Gardenswartz Sunday January 14, 2007 05:19 PM EST

January 14, 2007

Record thus far: 6-6 (NHL: 2-1; NBA: 2-4; NFL: 2-0; NCAA BB: 0-1)

Yesterday I claimed that I would make a comeback with the football picks and I did just that, going 2-0 on the gridiron. Unfortunately I incorrectly picked the over/under on a hockey game for the first time, which left me 2-1 on the day and 6-6 so far. I admittedly had no real reason for taking the over in yesterdayï¿½s hockey pick except for that I felt it in my soul. Well, seeing as how Iï¿½m a soulless individual with no morals and a wicked body rash, itï¿½s no wonder that the pick didnï¿½t hit. On account of the Benadryl Iï¿½m taking for the aforementioned rash, these picks were made with a woozy mind, but I stand behind them nonetheless.

1)?Seattle Seahawks at Chicago Bears under 37.5 points

This game should be low scoring for several reasons. First and foremost, Chicagoï¿½s defense will not give up many points today against a Seahawks team that is going to be missing at least one, if not two, of its best receivers. Defensively, Seattle is half-way decent, and theyï¿½re going to be playing against a quarterback in Rex Grossman that could very well have three turnovers on his own. I assume this match-up is going to feature plenty of field goals and very few touchdowns, hence, Iï¿½m taking the UNDER.

2)?Chicago -3 vs. Seattle Seahawks, New England +10.5 at San Diego Chargers

*** This is a two-team 6-point teaser, which means you must win BOTH parts of the bet to win. The original lines were Chicago -9, and New England +4.5

‘’For reasons explained above I donï¿½t expect Chicago to win big, but a playoff victory by three points at home for a supposed Super Bowl contender should not be too much to ask. As for New England, Iï¿½d take them +10.5 in the playoffs if they were playing God. Tom Brady in the playoffs is almost as guaranteed as sex on prom night. The Patriots will be facing a Chargers team led by a playoff-virgin quarterback (Phillip Rivers), and a coach (Marty Schottenheimer) who is known for losing in the postseason. If the Chargers pull this one out, it sure as hell wonï¿½t be by more than 10 points.

3)?Denver Nuggets -1 at Portland Trailblazers

‘’
The Nuggets are playing terrible basketball right now and they’ve lost seven of their last eight games, but Iï¿½m going with them for two reasons. Firstly, they NEED this win like ESPNï¿½s John Clayton needs a toupee, and secondly because of my rule on games with +1/-1 spreads. Since these are are essentially pick ï¿½ems, go with the team that has the best player. Denver’s Allen Iverson certainly qualifies in this case. Portland is also 2-5 against the spread in their last seven games, and 1-4 against the spread in their last five games at home.

Please bet responsibly, although I probably wonï¿½t.’’

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