Daddy Needs New Shoes January 15 2007

January 15, 2007

Record thus far: 7-7-1 (NHL: 2-1, NBA: 3-4; NFL: 2-1-1, NCAA BB: 0-1)

Wow, what an interesting weekend of football! I�m actually getting an erection thinking about the Colts/Patriots AFC championship, and much to the dismay of CL�s staff photographer Joeff Davis and operations editor Chante LaGon � both from Chicago � I hope the New Orleans Saints whoop the piss out of the overrated Chicago Bears. If I sound bitter toward the Bears, it�s probably because they made me look like an asshole by taking the UNDER in their game yesterday�maybe their defense isn�t that good after all? Or maybe my blurb on their game from yesterday should have read �blah, blah, blah, I don�t know shit. � Daddy.�

As I write this, bets are only being taken on two remaining NBA games, since there were a slew of afternoon games today (just how the Rev. MLK Jr. would�ve wanted it, I�m sure). My third and final bet is yet again a hockey OVER/UNDER because Canadians do it better. Actually, they don�t, but I digress�

1) Phoenix Suns at Memphis Grizzles OVER 231 points

I know it looks ridiculous to take an OVER at 231 points, but look at who is playing. Defense may as well be a four-letter word to the Suns and Grizzlies. The Suns are a run �n gun team that average 110 ppg on teams that play defense, and ever since the Grizzlies fired Mike �slow down the tempo of the game� Fratello as their head coach, they�ve been scoring points like I smoke blunts � frequently. It�s no wonder that the total has gone OVER in 14 of Memphis� last 16 games.

2) Los Angeles Lakers �6 vs. Miami Heat

These two teams usually play each other closely, but since Shaq is not playing, I expect Los Angeles to beat Miami handily and send a message to the rest of the league. When the two teams played this past Christmas, Miami won 101-85. If the Lakers have any balls at all, they�ll be yearning to avenge that loss. It�s also worth noting that this is Miami�s sixth road game in a row, and while they�ve played extremely well, winning four of their last five, all that traveling has to take a toll eventually.

3) Calgary Flames at Nashville Predators OVER 5.5 goals

Both of these teams have scored 22 goals a piece in their last five games, which averages out to 4.4 goals per game each. Neither of these teams boasts a hot goalie, and while the total has gone UNDER in four of Nashville�s last six games at home, the total has gone OVER in six of Calgary�s last nine games anywhere.

Please bet responsibly, although I probably won�t.