Don't Panic!: What's going on with Greece?

A long time ago, current Greek Prime Minister George Papandreou killed his father (former Prime Minister Andreas Papandreou), then married his own mother. After a while, the crops stopped growing, the women of Greece stopped having babies and the tzatziki curdled in the silos. Horrified, the MILF-wife killed herself and Papandreou gouged out his own eyes, then flew so close to the sun that he melted his wings, torching Greece's bond rating along the way. The price of spits soared, rendering millions of Greeks with no place to cook their lamb. Chaos ensued.

Last week, the European Union and the International Monetary Fund responded by installing Zeus as Greece's interim prime minister. Greece's 12 major gods and Nia Vardalos are scheduled to gather on Mount Olympus next week to choose a permanent successor.

Sorry. That's what happens when a columnist on deadlines mixes the Economist, D'Aulaires Book of Greek Myths and ouzo.

For the past decade, Greece has basically been that guy who pays his credit card bill with another credit card. Greece's government went on a debt-financed spending spree made possible by general robust growth and easy credit.

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(Photo Illustration by Andisheh Nouraee)

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