Loading...
 

Don't Panic!: What's going on with Greece?

A long time ago, current Greek Prime Minister George Papandreou killed his father (former Prime Minister Andreas Papandreou), then married his own mother. After a while, the crops stopped growing, the women of Greece stopped having babies and the tzatziki curdled in the silos. Horrified, the MILF-wife killed herself and Papandreou gouged out his own eyes, then flew so close to the sun that he melted his wings, torching Greece's bond rating along the way. The price of spits soared, rendering millions of Greeks with no place to cook their lamb. Chaos ensued.

Last week, the European Union and the International Monetary Fund responded by installing Zeus as Greece's interim prime minister. Greece's 12 major gods and Nia Vardalos are scheduled to gather on Mount Olympus next week to choose a permanent successor.

Sorry. That's what happens when a columnist on deadlines mixes the Economist, D'Aulaires Book of Greek Myths and ouzo.

For the past decade, Greece has basically been that guy who pays his credit card bill with another credit card. Greece's government went on a debt-financed spending spree made possible by general robust growth and easy credit.

Continue Reading "Don't Panic!: What's going on with Greece?"

(Photo Illustration by Andisheh Nouraee)



More By This Writer

Article

Monday July 2, 2012 10:14 am EDT
Fourth of July has devolved into a mindless national block party. Here's what we should do about it. | more...

Article

Wednesday September 7, 2011 04:30 am EDT
Ten years later, a TV terrorpalooza rings hollow | more...

Article

Tuesday September 7, 2010 09:11 am EDT
In the last-ever 'Don't Panic' column, we talk foreign policy writing cliches. | more...

Article

Thursday August 26, 2010 02:42 pm EDT
The Iraq war is over in the same way that daytime is over if you close your curtains. | more...

Article

Tuesday August 24, 2010 12:04 am EDT
Maybe Google Translator should add a Slang-to-English option, too? | more...
Search for more by Andisheh Nouraee

[Admin link: Don't Panic!: What's going on with Greece?]